1 00:00:21,966 --> 00:00:23,766 [wind howling] 2 00:00:40,433 --> 00:00:43,233 [JAMES HETFIELD] At first, there are humans, and there are women 3 00:00:43,266 --> 00:00:46,533 Since then, complicated things. 4 00:00:46,566 --> 00:00:48,366 Return to Adam and Eve, 5 00:00:48,399 --> 00:00:52,466 temptation is always third party participants in human life. 6 00:00:52,499 --> 00:00:54,933 From that moment on cavers wrote on the wall, 7 00:00:54,966 --> 00:00:56,666 a struggle has occurred. 8 00:00:56,699 --> 00:00:59,233 At times, desires 9 00:00:59,266 --> 00:01:01,366 has been pumped through historical blood vessels. 10 00:01:01,399 --> 00:01:04,466 In Asia, Egyptians, Greeks, Romans 11 00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:06,166 In 1748, 12 00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:09,366 temptation and sexuality reach a new level in England 13 00:01:09,399 --> 00:01:12,499 with the publication "Women's Memoirs from pleasure", 14 00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:15,033 a book better known as as "Fanny Hill". 15 00:01:15,066 --> 00:01:16,899 Fast forward to 1896, 16 00:01:16,933 --> 00:01:19,233 when Fatima does it belly dance 17 00:01:19,266 --> 00:01:21,899 And we see sex now, out of the shadows 18 00:01:21,933 --> 00:01:23,933 and enter cinematic mainstream 19 00:01:23,966 --> 00:01:28,499 In the 1960s, "I was curious" press the silver screen in Sweden, 20 00:01:28,533 --> 00:01:31,933 and Pandora are given a beautiful little box to open. 21 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:35,133 Porn films erupt in the 1970s, 22 00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:40,933 and IV sexual material is injected directly into the main core of humanity. 23 00:01:40,966 --> 00:01:45,366 As passion for sex and pornography rumbles in the belly of society, 24 00:01:45,399 --> 00:01:48,666 come too an all-you-can-eat buffet porn, 25 00:01:48,699 --> 00:01:50,499 world wide web. 26 00:01:50,533 --> 00:01:54,599 Therefore, we are now a planet that is technologically dependent with our person the power cord installed directly becomes anything and everything, 27 00:01:54,633 --> 00:01:59,399 and current runs through our cable 28 00:01:59,433 --> 00:02:01,533 is high voltage 29 00:02:02,099 --> 00:02:03,933 We are transferred, sexual beings. 30 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:26,166 Sexuality is a fundamental part of our basic human drive. 31 00:02:26,199 --> 00:02:32,066 We are conjured up for sexuality. 32 00:02:32,099 --> 00:02:34,499 This is part of our structure, 33 00:02:34,533 --> 00:02:37,233 34 00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:39,733 Cellular and DNA is being sexual and having sex. 35 00:02:39,766 --> 00:02:41,599 And anything that activates it our sexual part 36 00:02:41,633 --> 00:02:43,566 has hit something that is built with us 37 00:02:43,599 --> 00:02:46,533 This releases all of these chemicals in our body That makes us feel good. 38 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,566 Why? Therefore our method is made 39 00:02:48,599 --> 00:02:50,833 Because sex should be to make you feel good, so you have more sex. 40 00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:52,233 That's how it works. 41 00:02:52,266 --> 00:02:54,799 Um, that's human. That's normal. It's healthy. 42 00:02:54,833 --> 00:02:59,899 We have an almond-sized area in the middle of our brain, 43 00:02:59,933 --> 00:03:03,766 nucleus accumbens. This is the part I want from our brain 44 00:03:03,799 --> 00:03:06,399 It focuses on what we want, 45 00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:08,766 and that is important because 46 00:03:08,799 --> 00:03:11,099 This allows us to survive 47 00:03:11,133 --> 00:03:14,333 by focusing on food and on reproduction, examples. 48 00:03:14,366 --> 00:03:17,799 We survive as species, as individuals. 49 00:03:17,833 --> 00:03:22,266 Chemical dopamine produced in an area is called the midbrain, 50 00:03:22,299 --> 00:03:26,199 and there is a cable Who takes this dopamine, this chemical, 51 00:03:26,233 --> 00:03:28,266 all the way to nucleus accumbens, 52 00:03:28,299 --> 00:03:30,599 to another part of the brain 53 00:03:30,633 --> 00:03:33,966 This is really the power of the brain with desire dopamine midbrain factory not 54 00:03:33,999 --> 00:03:37,466 We call it ventral tegmental area. 55 00:03:37,499 --> 00:03:39,833 56 00:03:39,866 --> 00:03:42,933 The neurochemicals that are present in the brain during sex is a nerve chemical that should be there 57 00:03:42,966 --> 00:03:45,433 Do you masturbate to pornography? or having sex with a wife that you have been married for 30 years, 58 00:03:45,466 --> 00:03:47,033 no difference 59 00:03:47,066 --> 00:03:49,999 [HETFIELD] An interesting study has shown true growth 60 00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:51,133 in the part of the brain that is used more 61 00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:53,766 and atrophy in regions that are used less. 62 00:03:53,799 --> 00:03:55,866 It was first noted in a study of violinist 63 00:03:55,899 --> 00:03:58,699 and then explored with brain scans medical students 64 00:03:58,733 --> 00:04:01,933 65 00:04:01,966 --> 00:04:05,299 66 00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:10,433 both before and after intense three month period study for exams 67 00:04:10,466 --> 00:04:12,533 Not only does the brain grow and shrink, 68 00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:15,899 but new neurological pathways are formed as well. 69 00:04:15,933 --> 00:04:18,699 In short, the brain is actually reshaped. 70 00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:20,733 That physical change that we have scanned 71 00:04:20,766 --> 00:04:22,766 with violinists and medical students, 72 00:04:22,799 --> 00:04:27,599 Meaning, um, microscopic changes that occur 73 00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:30,466 in our form, literally, new brain connections 74 00:04:30,499 --> 00:04:32,933 between brain cells When we learn something new. 75 00:04:32,966 --> 00:04:35,399 Especially for those who are powerful learning awards 76 00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:37,633 Something strong as pornography. 77 00:04:37,666 --> 00:04:39,399 [HETFIELD] This is a different analogy. 78 00:04:39,433 --> 00:04:42,033 Imagine your brain is a dense forest. 79 00:04:42,066 --> 00:04:45,433 Like your brain continues to create new neurological pathways 80 00:04:45,466 --> 00:04:48,233 through reward learning like Hilton state, 81 00:04:48,266 --> 00:04:51,299 It's as if we are using a new path in the forest by running again and again. 82 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,699 Over time, almost all thoughts can begin to take the same path. 83 00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:58,599 Traces can be forged by several things, 84 00:04:58,633 --> 00:05:01,299 including sex and pornography. 85 00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:05,066 Obviously, you drink alcohol. You snort cocaine. 86 00:05:05,099 --> 00:05:08,666 You inject heroin. 87 00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,199 So this is a physical agent You enter your body. 88 00:05:10,233 --> 00:05:14,333 89 00:05:14,366 --> 00:05:17,299 What do they do to you? What is the common mechanism 90 00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:19,599 that this agent is into your body? 91 00:05:19,633 --> 00:05:22,366 Well, they turn on your reward system in your brain 92 00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:23,999 That's a common mechanism. 93 00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:25,466 We see that not only with illegal drugs, 94 00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:28,066 but we see it with pornography and with sexual addiction. 95 00:05:28,099 --> 00:05:29,599 [MARK BELL] We are not designed for alcohol, 96 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,899 for meth, for crystals, for all these other drugs. 97 00:05:31,933 --> 00:05:34,433 Our body will respond to for them fast enough, 98 00:05:34,466 --> 00:05:37,499 but not as fast as we want for something is sexually aroused. 99 00:05:37,533 --> 00:05:40,566 That's the highest, and it's innate and natural for us. 100 00:05:40,599 --> 00:05:44,599 So, we will be very ordinary looking for something that is sexual to treat feelings shame, and pain, and guilt, and regret, 101 00:05:44,633 --> 00:05:48,933 and sadness, and fear, and loneliness. 102 00:05:48,966 --> 00:05:51,099 And pornography Perfect solution for that, 103 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,199 if I'm looking for something sexual, 104 00:05:53,233 --> 00:05:54,433 because it's something I can do it myself, 105 00:05:54,466 --> 00:05:56,299 it's very cheap or cheap, 106 00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:58,199 and relative consequences-free, At least in my mind, 107 00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:01,033 because I'm not looking at this moment 108 00:06:01,066 --> 00:06:02,699 direct consequences for that. 109 00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,433 110 00:06:21,866 --> 00:06:23,199 [HETFIELD] Maybe the hardest part 111 00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:25,099 take subjects like pornography 112 00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:27,833 is the simplest part, defines it 113 00:06:27,866 --> 00:06:30,233 Do the right thing meaning "porn" 114 00:06:30,266 --> 00:06:33,766 into a simplified group words are almost impossible, 115 00:06:33,799 --> 00:06:38,799 That is one reason it stays as it is difficult to understand social problems for so long 116 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,933 How does someone define it? 117 00:06:40,966 --> 00:06:44,866 Trying to define pornography like trying to describe the air, sometimes. 118 00:06:44,899 --> 00:06:48,033 I mean, the reality is that will be different sensations for different people, 119 00:06:48,066 --> 00:06:51,999 but at the end of the day, From a clinical perspective, when I work with clients, 120 00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:54,999 they can articulate good enough for me what is pornography 121 00:06:55,033 --> 00:06:56,933 I just ask them what they see, 122 00:06:56,966 --> 00:06:58,633 are they exposing themselves. 123 00:06:58,666 --> 00:07:00,866 "What makes something pornographic 124 00:07:00,899 --> 00:07:03,466 versus only sexually explicit 125 00:07:03,499 --> 00:07:05,999 or sexually provocative"? 126 00:07:06,033 --> 00:07:09,233 I think also a debate needs to be done. 127 00:07:09,266 --> 00:07:14,999 We learn so much about sexuality that we have never known before. 128 00:07:15,033 --> 00:07:19,399 And we have our ideas challenged what we think is normal 129 00:07:19,433 --> 00:07:21,966 and what we consider healthy 130 00:07:21,999 --> 00:07:26,566 by finding out that there are many people out there 131 00:07:26,599 --> 00:07:30,133 who is interested in all types of curling kinds of things. 132 00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:33,499 [HETFIELD] So how are you doing? defining something so broad and very subjective? 133 00:07:33,533 --> 00:07:36,433 In this case, you see for the common denominator 134 00:07:36,466 --> 00:07:38,399 For the purpose of from this documentary, 135 00:07:38,433 --> 00:07:41,766 the common denominator is here, brain 136 00:07:41,799 --> 00:07:46,666 Spectrum of pornography material is infinite width at this time, 137 00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:50,933 but physiological and neurological responses by individuals 138 00:07:50,966 --> 00:07:53,933 seems the same, regardless of its contents 139 00:07:53,966 --> 00:07:56,766 In short, no matter what someone sees, 140 00:07:56,799 --> 00:08:00,599 the mind and body appear to have the same reaction across the board. 141 00:08:00,633 --> 00:08:02,633 To use a simpler analogy, 142 00:08:02,666 --> 00:08:06,699 Bob likes soccer, Jim likes baseball, and Suzanne likes golf, 143 00:08:06,733 --> 00:08:08,833 But they all like sports. 144 00:08:08,866 --> 00:08:12,966 Just like the brain of everyone releases the message of pain when someone is injured, 145 00:08:12,999 --> 00:08:17,166 experts agree that it releases chemicals from pleasure When it's aroused, 146 00:08:17,199 --> 00:08:19,066 chemicals like DeltaFosB. 147 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:23,866 There is a desire machine, molecular machine of desire, 148 00:08:23,899 --> 00:08:26,833 chemical engine which causes us to want. 149 00:08:26,866 --> 00:08:31,266 And when we see something that we have trained our brain wants, 150 00:08:31,899 --> 00:08:33,333 we turn on the machine. 151 00:08:33,366 --> 00:08:38,133 DeltaFosB is a switch that activates this desire machine. 152 00:08:38,166 --> 00:08:42,566 And we know it's DeltaFosB and other signals, chemicals cascade 153 00:08:42,599 --> 00:08:47,566 very important in building this cable, This brain cable wants. 154 00:08:47,599 --> 00:08:49,899 Being sexually visible Same as the drug. 155 00:08:49,933 --> 00:08:51,266 [BEL] Pornography, in and of itself, 156 00:08:51,299 --> 00:08:53,999 designed to only accelerate a sexual experience. 157 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:58,066 This is meant for a instant hit, like drugs, 158 00:08:58,099 --> 00:09:01,799 um, and that brings us there faster than usual designed to go 159 00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,999 So, at the end of the day, pornography, in my opinion, 160 00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:07,333 only those things are designed quickly 161 00:09:07,366 --> 00:09:10,899 takes us to a sexual state, erotic moments 162 00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:14,466 And it can also, as I say, from visual, verbal, 163 00:09:14,499 --> 00:09:17,333 it can be something written it can be something... 164 00:09:17,366 --> 00:09:20,466 Anything designed to activate the senses, 165 00:09:20,499 --> 00:09:23,733 separate from interactions with someone you actually with 166 00:09:23,766 --> 00:09:25,933 [HETFIELD] Because we already did it highlighted that sexuality 167 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:29,999 has become a major component human nature since the beginning of time, 168 00:09:30,033 --> 00:09:34,899 and remember that the US is relatively young compared to the rest of the world This is how other cultures see pornography and its place in their respective communities. 169 00:09:34,933 --> 00:09:39,833 Personally, I think we are moving towards 170 00:11:37,143 --> 00:11:38,676 very sexual culture at this time. 171 00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:41,276 We become more liberal. 172 00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:43,143 They are very liberal movements in the 70s, 173 00:11:43,176 --> 00:11:45,176 and I believe we repeat it again now 174 00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:47,743 And as sexuality becomes more accepted, 175 00:11:47,776 --> 00:11:50,743 I think porn is very normal part of Australian culture. 176 00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:53,576 177 00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:57,043 I think as a society we might be medium a little more, 178 00:11:57,076 --> 00:12:00,276 uh, relaxed and able to talk about sexuality. 179 00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:03,776 [WOMEN] It must be something that men are involved more, 180 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,510 and I think women pay attention reluctantly 181 00:12:06,543 --> 00:12:08,243 Or if they have seen it, 182 00:12:08,276 --> 00:12:09,910 it's not something they have to have, 183 00:12:09,943 --> 00:12:11,443 or they watch it as a little joke 184 00:12:11,476 --> 00:12:15,510 Certainly appropriate Australian culture I think, um... 185 00:12:15,543 --> 00:12:19,176 Is that normal thing? And I don't think so 186 00:12:19,210 --> 00:12:21,876 pornography is normal, in my opinion. 187 00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:23,376 Because it's not real. 188 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,643 Especially when it comes to marketing any product in Australia, 189 00:12:26,676 --> 00:12:31,176 then it is certain, sex is used for some sort, you know, representing 190 00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:34,276 or turn on people to buy certain products. 191 00:12:34,310 --> 00:12:36,243 Is this a problem Yes, I think is a big problem 192 00:12:36,276 --> 00:12:39,210 This is clearly successful. People respond to sexuality. 193 00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:42,276 If people don't respond, it won't be so rampant. 194 00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:45,076 So I think from marketing perspective, as long as it works, 195 00:12:45,110 --> 00:12:46,943 will continue to use it 196 00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:51,676 And with that in mind, I think we might be at the tip of the iceberg. 197 00:12:51,710 --> 00:12:53,176 [HUMAN] I think we see a phase 198 00:12:53,210 --> 00:12:56,476 where sexuality and over-sexalization of children 199 00:12:56,510 --> 00:13:00,376 generally encourages media to explore various ways To earn money. 200 00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:04,810 For example, every time you take a magazine with pictures of Kylie Minogue, 201 00:13:04,843 --> 00:13:06,476 he looks like he has an orgasm 202 00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:10,543 And the fact is are women not look like that, 203 00:13:10,576 --> 00:13:14,276 and it shouldn't be so that it looks like that to be... 204 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:16,810 Must be considered as attractive or sexy. 205 00:13:16,843 --> 00:13:20,310 It's just an unrealistic place hope in individuals 206 00:13:20,343 --> 00:13:24,043 To, you know, see sex in a different way, 207 00:13:24,076 --> 00:13:26,343 and also... In relationships, that's... 208 00:13:26,376 --> 00:13:27,743 That makes it uncomfortable 209 00:13:27,776 --> 00:13:29,910 If people are uncomfortable with things like that so too. 210 00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:08,310 But I guess, you know, that's part of what is happening right now 211 00:15:08,343 --> 00:15:09,710 This is very accessible. 212 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:13,510 I think that many Americans like many French people, 213 00:15:13,543 --> 00:15:17,110 You know, everyone has Their addiction, you know. 214 00:15:17,143 --> 00:15:21,676 I don't think they are more sex addiction in the United States than in France. 215 00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:25,210 I think, in France, we watch pornography, 216 00:15:25,243 --> 00:15:26,876 and it's okay about that 217 00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:29,876 But I think at United Sates, 218 00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:33,310 You can watch it, but it's a little taboo, Do you know what I mean? 219 00:15:33,343 --> 00:15:36,410 There is a paradox between that, because 220 00:15:36,443 --> 00:15:41,810 The United States may be the largest producer in Indonesia, pornography in the world, 221 00:15:41,843 --> 00:15:44,710 -but very... [speaking in French] - [MAN] Puritans 222 00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:46,376 But it's very puritanical at the same time. 223 00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:49,643 So you can watch it, but you don't say that 224 00:15:49,676 --> 00:15:53,143 In France, I think it's not really something you talk about. 225 00:15:53,176 --> 00:15:54,843 This is a kind of deviation. 226 00:15:54,876 --> 00:15:56,510 I don't think is a natural thing. 227 00:15:56,543 --> 00:15:57,810 You shouldn't need it, 228 00:15:57,843 --> 00:16:02,610 because you have to look for the things you need in your partner 229 00:16:02,643 --> 00:16:05,476 This is still taboo, even if it changes now, 230 00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:08,710 but we are now... You know, we changed a few years ago, 231 00:16:08,743 --> 00:16:11,476 but now we are in so much... 232 00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:14,543 So much... Great exposure... 233 00:16:15,843 --> 00:16:19,343 to the body, to... 234 00:16:19,376 --> 00:16:23,476 you know, whatever we sell in advertising 235 00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:25,910 Pornography is like 236 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:29,710 the opposite of romance. 237 00:16:29,743 --> 00:16:34,376 For me, it's like seeing close ups of big dick, and vagina, 238 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,943 and the woman goes... [chokes] like that I'm like... 239 00:16:37,576 --> 00:16:38,876 It's not romantic. 240 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:41,643 For me, sex goes with feeling. 241 00:16:41,676 --> 00:16:46,276 I see that a very complicated question 242 00:16:46,310 --> 00:16:48,710 Because of that... This is the game 243 00:16:48,743 --> 00:16:53,310 with all the collective unconscious, and, uh... 244 00:16:53,343 --> 00:16:58,076 And the way we build society, 245 00:16:58,110 --> 00:17:00,576 and so, uh... This, uh... 246 00:17:01,376 --> 00:17:03,443 Ocean? - [MAN] An ocean. 247 00:17:03,476 --> 00:17:04,843 Yes. 248 00:17:04,876 --> 00:17:07,210 [HETFIELD] But not everyone buys into the concept of 249 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:10,043 that pornography harassment and addiction to pornography are real problems David Ley is a clinical psychologist who feel that pornography is a lower element a bigger problem 250 00:17:10,076 --> 00:17:12,010 251 00:17:12,043 --> 00:17:15,843 252 00:17:15,876 --> 00:17:18,676 Initially, in my opinion, 253 00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:21,310 "Well, this is true pop psychology, sort of harmless." 254 00:17:22,610 --> 00:17:26,276 I finally believe, Even though, this way is very dangerous 255 00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:28,610 That this is... 256 00:17:28,643 --> 00:17:32,176 [exhale] psychology and medicine 257 00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:37,210 play a role in suppressing sexuality in our culture. 258 00:17:37,243 --> 00:17:40,376 The idea of pornographic addiction and the idea of sex addiction 259 00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:43,476 is a very strong concept. 260 00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:47,743 This has been trapped around for 30 years and plus for many reasons 261 00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:50,776 Porn addiction and sex addiction 262 00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:55,010 is a way to culture and society 263 00:17:55,043 --> 00:17:58,710 to label sex as dangerous, 264 00:17:58,743 --> 00:18:01,076 something we need scared. 265 00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:03,743 This is a way for the community 266 00:18:03,776 --> 00:18:07,610 to exert control over people's sexual behavior 267 00:18:07,643 --> 00:18:14,343 when sexuality changes dramatically And especially When we look at culture 268 00:18:14,376 --> 00:18:17,076 who are less shy about sex 269 00:18:17,110 --> 00:18:19,810 and less Strangely obsessed with it, 270 00:18:19,843 --> 00:18:23,743 they don't have problems with sex addiction 271 00:18:23,776 --> 00:18:26,943 There is a culture through the history and culture of in the world today 272 00:18:26,976 --> 00:18:30,210 It doesn't treat sex through here. 273 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:33,010 It doesn't treat it like a taboo. 274 00:18:34,176 --> 00:18:37,076 [HETFIELD] Maybe because of the more puritanical principles of the American founder, 275 00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:41,176 276 00:18:41,210 --> 00:18:45,043 Ley said that she saw this problem, pornic panic when she called it, 277 00:18:45,076 --> 00:18:50,876 as more than a juxtaposition between our sexual desires and our social values. 278 00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:55,043 Moral panic is when media and society 279 00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:58,443 buy to a specific problem, 280 00:18:58,476 --> 00:19:02,510 makes it a moral and social concern. 281 00:19:02,543 --> 00:19:04,243 It turns into a crusade. 282 00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:08,310 Masturbation is the most A common form of sexuality throughout the world throughout history 283 00:19:08,343 --> 00:19:12,176 People masturbate far more than they actually have sex, relationships. 284 00:19:13,776 --> 00:19:18,343 Why do we differentiate? masturbation from another type of sexuality? 285 00:19:18,376 --> 00:19:19,876 What's the difference? 286 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:22,043 I will tell you what the difference is _ 287 00:19:22,076 --> 00:19:24,210 Cultural and social values. 288 00:19:24,243 --> 00:19:27,410 Because there are ideas in our society 289 00:19:27,443 --> 00:19:30,943 The right type of sex 290 00:19:30,976 --> 00:19:34,010 is intimate, emotional commitment, 291 00:19:34,043 --> 00:19:38,443 love, monogamy, heterosexual sex. 292 00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:41,443 That is a cultural value. 293 00:19:41,476 --> 00:19:44,010 This is not a medical problem. This is not scientific. 294 00:19:44,043 --> 00:19:47,343 [HETFIELD] Ley even rejects the argument neurochemical addiction 295 00:19:47,376 --> 00:19:49,810 and pornographic comparison for other drugs, 296 00:19:49,843 --> 00:19:52,510 claims that pornography is a neutral element 297 00:19:52,543 --> 00:19:55,776 in a much bigger picture it comes from social fear. 298 00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:59,076 The idea that, uh, 299 00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:01,343 we get dopamine addiction, 300 00:20:01,376 --> 00:20:05,043 and that is a common one types of nerve chemicals thrown there, 301 00:20:05,076 --> 00:20:08,176 is reductionist, because guess what, 302 00:20:08,210 --> 00:20:12,476 There are many neurochemicals that are released in our body during sex 303 00:20:12,510 --> 00:20:15,510 Dopamine is just one of them. 304 00:20:15,543 --> 00:20:18,610 There is a slight difference between them neurochemistry and neurochemistry that can be released when we exercise 305 00:20:18,643 --> 00:20:21,610 Why it's okay to exercise, 306 00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:26,276 and have They are neurochemicals released, 307 00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:27,943 and use it as a form stress management or handling, 308 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,610 But it's okay for sex? 309 00:20:30,643 --> 00:20:33,110 And as a result, Men are afraid of that, 310 00:20:33,143 --> 00:20:35,876 311 00:20:35,910 --> 00:20:40,210 and women are afraid of that. They are afraid of the effects from pornography 312 00:20:41,643 --> 00:20:44,676 That's why people are afraid to talk about it 313 00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:49,276 And that's why there are very few people like me, 314 00:20:49,310 --> 00:20:50,943 who is professional and scientist 315 00:20:50,976 --> 00:20:54,010 who wants to leave and say, "Wait a minute. 316 00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:55,810 This is not real. . 317 00:20:55,843 --> 00:21:00,643 This can be good This can be bad. " 318 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,376 Porn itself is neutral, just like a car 319 00:21:03,410 --> 00:21:06,076 Used irresponsibly, the car is very dangerous 320 00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:11,010 321 00:21:11,043 --> 00:21:14,643 322 00:21:15,643 --> 00:21:20,010 Used irresponsibly, porn can be dangerous 323 00:21:20,043 --> 00:21:26,976 But if we have it A panic conversation about the dangers of pornography, 324 00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:29,376 we ignore the fact is neutral. 325 00:21:38,543 --> 00:21:42,876 This is very devastating when people like David Ley can be tried to say 326 00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:47,910 it might even be good for children to expand their teenage years 327 00:21:47,943 --> 00:21:51,176 and college-age children to broaden their perspective with pornography 328 00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:52,410 This is ridiculous. 329 00:21:52,443 --> 00:21:54,643 [HETFIELD] Is that really fair? Which pornography is to blame? 330 00:21:54,676 --> 00:21:59,743 Or it can also be directed to in media, internet, and modern technology too? 331 00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:02,076 Is pornography really only ocean 332 00:22:02,110 --> 00:22:06,443 are fed by millions of and millions of media and tributaries of technology 333 00:22:06,476 --> 00:22:09,443 who slowly drips through society? 334 00:22:09,476 --> 00:22:12,776 Looks like we created moral swirls For ourselves 335 00:22:12,810 --> 00:22:16,876 where people become trapped in a circle of shame. 336 00:22:16,910 --> 00:22:21,639 So, maybe it's time we see what has the potential to happen here 337 00:22:24,839 --> 00:22:28,606 You can't show bare breasts on TV networks, for example. 338 00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:31,173 So we have in this paradoxical world 339 00:22:31,206 --> 00:22:36,606 where, on the one hand, I've used it on my phone anytime, whatever I want, 340 00:22:36,639 --> 00:22:41,139 and at the same time, what we eat is this mixed message 341 00:22:41,173 --> 00:22:45,106 that it's taboo, it's hidden. 342 00:22:45,139 --> 00:22:48,506 And that's the paradox of these two dynamics... 343 00:22:48,539 --> 00:22:51,906 On the one hand, it's there. In the other hand, we sell it to you. 344 00:22:51,939 --> 00:22:54,639 And at the same time, 345 00:22:54,673 --> 00:22:56,773 "This is dirty stuff. Don't see it." 346 00:22:57,506 --> 00:22:59,839 Screw it with our head. 347 00:22:59,873 --> 00:23:02,939 We don't speak openly about healthy sex, productive ways 348 00:23:02,973 --> 00:23:06,773 But we are more than happy to talk about or satire all over the media. 349 00:23:06,806 --> 00:23:08,839 So again, there is an imbalance there. 350 00:23:08,873 --> 00:23:10,606 This is part of the puzzle. 351 00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:14,439 I mean, we haven't know what we want to grow and not 352 00:23:14,473 --> 00:23:15,973 as a community. 353 00:23:16,006 --> 00:23:18,339 We are still very young that way, 354 00:23:18,373 --> 00:23:20,906 and unfortunately, pornography... 355 00:23:20,939 --> 00:23:24,073 When we play with sexuality, 356 00:23:24,106 --> 00:23:26,839 uh, we mess with basic biological drives 357 00:23:26,873 --> 00:23:29,406 it's important for our survival. 358 00:23:29,439 --> 00:23:33,639 And to underestimate something as strong as sexuality, 359 00:23:33,673 --> 00:23:36,839 like many, because of some professionals, 360 00:23:36,873 --> 00:23:40,239 as a culture, the entertainment industry is, 361 00:23:41,006 --> 00:23:43,206 irresponsible 362 00:23:44,239 --> 00:23:47,206 And moreover, is dangerous. 363 00:23:47,239 --> 00:23:51,606 The medium is very significant strength 364 00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:54,639 I talk to my client about the importance of 365 00:23:54,673 --> 00:23:58,639 have neuro nets around them 366 00:23:58,673 --> 00:24:04,073 and neuro's net, uh, basically media filter 367 00:24:04,106 --> 00:24:09,473 where they have to determine what is healthy for them, what is unhealthy [BELL] And this is the part of what keeps building into that objectivity 368 00:24:09,506 --> 00:24:14,006 we have, where we don't see people as a whole 369 00:24:14,039 --> 00:24:16,373 We see parts and parts from different times, and photos, 370 00:24:16,406 --> 00:24:19,273 and body parts, and so on. 371 00:24:19,306 --> 00:24:21,039 372 00:24:21,073 --> 00:24:24,506 The world now provides us with that alone is conditioned to us. 373 00:24:24,539 --> 00:24:26,739 More and more new, more intrigue. 374 00:24:26,773 --> 00:24:29,473 Something more and more extreme. 375 00:24:29,506 --> 00:24:32,506 [HETFIELD] Where is Most of the new things, that intrigue 376 00:24:32,539 --> 00:24:35,806 really begin to take root on a large scale in everyday life 377 00:24:35,839 --> 00:24:37,639 with its development from the Internet. 378 00:24:37,673 --> 00:24:41,539 It's no secret to try to describe how the internet changes humanity 379 00:24:41,573 --> 00:24:43,239 for both better and worse 380 00:24:43,273 --> 00:24:47,339 It could be, and maybe it should be, a documentary in and of itself. 381 00:24:47,373 --> 00:24:50,539 But what is more concerning is how is the technology today 382 00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:54,806 forward at speeds that are much faster than the internet has ever done. 383 00:24:54,839 --> 00:24:57,806 And its accessibility creates anonymity 384 00:24:57,839 --> 00:25:00,639 it's dangerous and damaging. 385 00:25:00,673 --> 00:25:02,939 Our ignorance about technology, 386 00:25:02,973 --> 00:25:08,373 our willingness to combine things into our lives without being informed and educated, 387 00:25:08,406 --> 00:25:10,373 that's the opponent 388 00:25:20,006 --> 00:25:22,806 Guys will talk about it sit in a car, 389 00:25:22,839 --> 00:25:25,839 see pornography on their phone like them drive on the highway 390 00:25:27,039 --> 00:25:29,006 You know, when they stop at the entrance, 391 00:25:29,039 --> 00:25:31,939 the first thing they do whether they hit their history and delete it 392 00:25:31,973 --> 00:25:34,739 So, indeed there is no financial cost 393 00:25:34,773 --> 00:25:39,206 No one can catch them. No one can see them doing it. 394 00:25:39,239 --> 00:25:42,939 There is no cost in terms of marriage finding out about it. 395 00:25:43,673 --> 00:25:46,539 They don't have to do it 396 00:25:46,573 --> 00:25:50,273 worry about someone seeing them in an adult bookstore Seeing them the next day, 397 00:25:50,306 --> 00:25:53,606 or see their car where it's not supposed to be. 398 00:25:53,639 --> 00:25:55,506 So there is anonymity, 399 00:25:55,539 --> 00:25:57,773 a feeling that, "I can do this 400 00:25:57,806 --> 00:26:01,639 and still retain the image that I must be all around me. " 401 00:26:19,839 --> 00:26:25,906 [BEL] We make computers and technology our number one relationship 402 00:26:25,939 --> 00:26:29,339 or an entity with we spend a lot of time and invest 403 00:26:29,373 --> 00:26:31,773 energy as well as our sexual self, 404 00:26:31,806 --> 00:26:34,473 then we are basically created... 405 00:26:36,006 --> 00:26:39,139 artificial intelligence for us to become familiar with, 406 00:26:39,173 --> 00:26:42,606 and we cannot be truly intimate with artificial intelligence 407 00:26:42,639 --> 00:26:44,639 Hence the term, "Artificial." 408 00:26:44,673 --> 00:26:49,939 We don't back down in this world 409 00:26:49,973 --> 00:26:51,473 when it comes to technology. 410 00:26:51,506 --> 00:26:55,306 So only becomes more available 411 00:26:55,339 --> 00:26:58,173 That will only be more common. 412 00:26:58,206 --> 00:27:01,206 So let's find out the way to deal with that reality. 413 00:27:09,406 --> 00:27:11,606 [HETFIELD] Now the photo starts to become clearer 414 00:27:11,639 --> 00:27:14,273 about accessibility porn and modern culture, 415 00:27:14,306 --> 00:27:19,306 it's time to minimize and see the new set danger associated with it 416 00:27:19,339 --> 00:27:21,006 Part of the hope for this film 417 00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:22,906 is to describe clear development 418 00:27:22,939 --> 00:27:26,173 which is pornographic and easy access creates. 419 00:27:26,206 --> 00:27:29,139 So far, we have learned how pornography affects the brain, 420 00:27:29,173 --> 00:27:31,006 and we know that is now available 421 00:27:31,039 --> 00:27:34,839 for anyone old enough to be held a smart phone 422 00:27:34,873 --> 00:27:37,839 Admit or not, our children potentially affected 423 00:27:37,873 --> 00:27:43,139 for a large number of pornography every day with a finger tap. 424 00:27:43,173 --> 00:27:48,006 It's very common now to hear stories about men experience pornography 425 00:27:48,039 --> 00:27:50,073 as young as five, six years. 426 00:27:50,106 --> 00:27:54,806 [LEY] We will not allow people to learn to shoot rifles by watching Bruce Willis's movie. 427 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:57,839 And if they do, we will not be surprised if someone dies 428 00:27:59,206 --> 00:28:02,439 We don't need to be surprised Children make bad choices 429 00:28:02,473 --> 00:28:04,573 if they learn about sex from pornography. 430 00:28:04,606 --> 00:28:06,606 But that is with us. 431 00:28:06,639 --> 00:28:09,306 This is as you say. This is a social problem 432 00:28:09,339 --> 00:28:11,406 we have to have a conversation about 433 00:28:11,439 --> 00:28:12,906 [BEL] Before my generation, 434 00:28:12,939 --> 00:28:16,106 My parents are talking about finding Uncle Joe "Playboy", you know, 435 00:28:16,139 --> 00:28:19,206 in the corner of the place. 436 00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:23,906 That doesn't happen again. Print pornography rather goes dodo way 437 00:28:23,939 --> 00:28:25,939 Young people aren't very interested in that What they are looking for online, they don't even really interpret as pornography. 438 00:28:25,973 --> 00:28:30,739 They only see it as something like that a video game 439 00:28:30,773 --> 00:28:32,973 or something else is entertaining 440 00:28:33,006 --> 00:28:34,506 That, in and of itself, is a danger, 441 00:28:34,539 --> 00:28:35,906 442 00:28:35,939 --> 00:28:39,339 because they don't have age appropriate sexual experience, 443 00:28:40,639 --> 00:28:42,906 pulled out period of natural development. 444 00:28:42,939 --> 00:28:44,473 Everything is crowded 445 00:28:44,506 --> 00:28:48,606 when their brains are not even designed to handle the natural range of sexuality, 446 00:28:48,639 --> 00:28:52,206 let alone the and the extreme that the world now offers them 447 00:28:52,239 --> 00:28:55,839 This is interesting, Most of these scenes, and Ana Bridges paper, 448 00:28:55,873 --> 00:29:01,006 which shows that up to 90 percent of porn scenes 449 00:29:01,039 --> 00:29:02,973 do show aggression towards women 450 00:29:03,006 --> 00:29:05,473 Also determined, in this scene, 451 00:29:05,506 --> 00:29:09,106 they all show withdrawal and ejaculation in the female body. 452 00:29:09,139 --> 00:29:11,006 Often on his face. 453 00:29:11,039 --> 00:29:14,906 So, Bill Margold, pornographic stars, Interestingly to say that, 454 00:29:14,939 --> 00:29:19,773 "I believe the cruelest We can get ejaculation into the face." 455 00:29:21,539 --> 00:29:25,273 He said, "We want to flood the world with an orgasm to the face." 456 00:29:26,373 --> 00:29:29,373 So, all these young teens you refer to 457 00:29:29,406 --> 00:29:32,773 resonate with Bill Margold. 458 00:29:32,806 --> 00:29:34,473 He is their new teacher. 459 00:29:42,839 --> 00:29:45,839 What happens with this pornographic exposure, 460 00:29:45,873 --> 00:29:49,406 they get the sense from what relationship should be like, 461 00:29:49,439 --> 00:29:52,173 based on pornographic myths. 462 00:29:52,206 --> 00:29:54,173 And when we look for on what pornography offers, 463 00:29:54,206 --> 00:29:57,839 it speaks and shows momentary satisfaction 464 00:29:57,873 --> 00:30:00,206 There are very few, if there is, foreplay 465 00:30:00,239 --> 00:30:03,639 There are very few, if any, romance or dating 466 00:30:03,673 --> 00:30:07,206 in the sense of taking someone on a date, and knowing family, 467 00:30:07,239 --> 00:30:10,006 and to find out like each other, And so on. 468 00:30:10,039 --> 00:30:11,939 We talk about someone knocking on the door, 469 00:30:11,973 --> 00:30:15,473 and within 30 seconds, we are completely naked and do it. 470 00:30:15,506 --> 00:30:19,773 So it's not so normal dating patterns for humans. 471 00:30:19,806 --> 00:30:23,106 Never existed, and that is not something that supports intimacy. 472 00:30:23,139 --> 00:30:26,139 Actually, this... This eliminates intimacy. 473 00:30:26,173 --> 00:30:30,339 If you are a teenager, you start coming into sexuality, 474 00:30:30,373 --> 00:30:32,839 but you don't know anything about that, because nobody talks about it 475 00:30:32,873 --> 00:30:36,773 No one gives anything transmission about that 476 00:30:36,806 --> 00:30:38,406 So you're like... 477 00:30:39,373 --> 00:30:41,706 "What should I do? Am I... 478 00:30:41,739 --> 00:30:44,973 Am I allowed to do it? Should I not do it? 479 00:30:45,006 --> 00:30:47,573 When is the right time? Is that a good person? 480 00:30:47,606 --> 00:30:50,139 Am I ready for do it? " 481 00:30:50,173 --> 00:30:54,373 Should children learn about sex from pornography? Fuck, no! 482 00:30:54,406 --> 00:30:58,106 But if so, why? 483 00:30:58,139 --> 00:31:00,206 They are learning sex from pornography, 484 00:31:00,239 --> 00:31:03,506 Because we don't do a pretty good job about educating them 485 00:31:03,539 --> 00:31:07,939 So, children go for pornographic sources. 486 00:31:07,973 --> 00:31:10,639 Pornography is never intended to educate. 487 00:31:10,673 --> 00:31:13,839 What you are leaving from education here in this country is ridiculous 488 00:31:13,873 --> 00:31:16,073 As a young tucker, if I see pornography, 489 00:31:16,106 --> 00:31:18,273 I don't think I would have know what I did, Honestly. 490 00:31:36,339 --> 00:31:39,706 I hope that you know, the next generation can be realized 491 00:31:39,739 --> 00:31:44,239 fuck doesn't choke, and slap, and hit the buttocks, 492 00:31:44,273 --> 00:31:49,339 and pulling hair When you have sex. It's not love. And... 493 00:31:49,373 --> 00:31:52,739 It shouldn't be pornographic industry teaches our children 494 00:31:53,739 --> 00:31:56,039 how to have sex, how to make love 495 00:31:56,836 --> 00:32:01,436 This is the first wave of digital citizens. 496 00:32:01,469 --> 00:32:03,736 You know, this is the first wave of children 497 00:32:03,769 --> 00:32:08,802 for whom, the world without internet sounds like what you and me... 498 00:32:08,836 --> 00:32:12,769 A world without a car. You know? 499 00:32:12,802 --> 00:32:17,836 So, to teach them how to be a good digital citizen 500 00:32:17,869 --> 00:32:21,502 with respect to their sexual... Respect all their behavior, 501 00:32:21,536 --> 00:32:24,669 but specifically with respect for their sexual behavior. 502 00:32:24,702 --> 00:32:27,169 [HETFIELD] So what is the situation sexual education 503 00:32:27,202 --> 00:32:28,669 in public schools in the US? 504 00:32:28,702 --> 00:32:32,536 Or is the state of education about pornography, in this case? 505 00:32:32,569 --> 00:32:36,369 According to findings by the National Conference State Legislature, 506 00:32:36,402 --> 00:32:37,969 it's worrying 507 00:32:38,002 --> 00:32:43,369 Only 22 countries that have a mandate need public schools to teach sex education. 508 00:32:43,402 --> 00:32:47,136 Nineteen countries require that if sex education is provided, 509 00:32:47,169 --> 00:32:51,302 that is certain, quote, "Medically, factually, or technically accurate," 510 00:32:51,336 --> 00:32:54,669 quote a long list cold, clinical criteria. 511 00:32:54,702 --> 00:32:59,369 Three countries need parental permission before young children can receive sex education, 512 00:32:59,402 --> 00:33:04,036 and 35 countries allow parents to opt out on behalf of their children 513 00:33:04,069 --> 00:33:09,002 In researching this, no only seems that sex education is not a high priority, 514 00:33:09,036 --> 00:33:12,002 This is the subject both educators and parents 515 00:33:12,036 --> 00:33:13,936 still afraid approach. 516 00:33:13,969 --> 00:33:18,802 This is as real as other problems that students continue to face in their adult lives, 517 00:33:18,836 --> 00:33:22,436 but you see you don't opt out for math or science classes. 518 00:33:22,469 --> 00:33:25,102 Ironically, listed among them same statistics, 519 00:33:25,136 --> 00:33:29,569 is the fact that 47 percent said high school students they had had sex, 520 00:33:29,602 --> 00:33:32,902 one in four girls will get pregnant with their 20th birthday, 521 00:33:32,936 --> 00:33:39,336 and giving birth to teenagers American taxpayer fees approximately $ 9.4 billion per year. 522 00:33:39,369 --> 00:33:43,636 So it seems fair to say that remembering what has been learned so far, 523 00:33:43,669 --> 00:33:47,536 there is a great need to get parents and educators on the same page 524 00:33:47,569 --> 00:33:50,402 in understanding the importance of sexual education, 525 00:33:50,436 --> 00:33:52,769 including pornography. 526 00:33:52,802 --> 00:33:55,702 In general, children know more than adults at this time. 527 00:33:55,736 --> 00:33:59,336 So, adults, we can really learn many of them if we start to open a dialogue, 528 00:33:59,369 --> 00:34:02,669 Because they will educate us for what actually happened to them, 529 00:34:02,702 --> 00:34:04,336 Are they actually affected. 530 00:34:04,369 --> 00:34:08,702 And then we can Give them at least father, or mother, 531 00:34:08,736 --> 00:34:13,036 or the perspective of a mentor around what it is might do it for them 532 00:34:13,069 --> 00:34:14,536 Positive and negative. 533 00:34:14,569 --> 00:34:17,036 [HETFIELD] And that's how you see the linear nature of this problem. 534 00:34:17,069 --> 00:34:19,736 With technology offerings high exposure to porn, 535 00:34:19,769 --> 00:34:22,569 and limited numbers education in public schools, 536 00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:26,102 young people then take the problem into their college years. 537 00:34:26,136 --> 00:34:29,502 Here are some students from Arizona State University. 538 00:34:29,536 --> 00:34:32,169 No, that's all the normal part of life. 539 00:34:32,202 --> 00:34:33,402 Literally, everyone. 540 00:34:33,436 --> 00:34:36,436 I don't know anyone who doesn't watch it at all 541 00:34:36,469 --> 00:34:38,836 I know many people do it, and even girls too, 542 00:34:38,869 --> 00:34:40,702 But I feel like someone who did it is more than just a girl. 543 00:34:40,736 --> 00:34:44,302 Normal with guys my age, maybe just... 544 00:34:44,336 --> 00:34:49,202 Just linking it to a random party with people doesn't care about you 545 00:34:49,236 --> 00:34:52,502 This has nothing to do with love, or intimate with each other, 546 00:34:52,536 --> 00:34:55,102 or really care about each other. This is only about his actions. 547 00:34:55,136 --> 00:34:58,402 So I think people describe what they see, what they grow with 548 00:34:58,436 --> 00:35:00,802 And again, watching television 549 00:35:00,836 --> 00:35:05,102 and only see the ratio love versus violence 550 00:35:05,136 --> 00:35:08,802 This affects young children, or teenagers, or teenagers. 551 00:35:08,836 --> 00:35:11,936 "Oh, girls aren't commensurate with this. 552 00:35:11,969 --> 00:35:16,302 They are only worthy... I will hit it for one night stand and then leave. 553 00:35:16,336 --> 00:35:18,002 And then I'll do it meet another girl 554 00:35:18,036 --> 00:35:20,102 Girls like it more seriously than boys, 555 00:35:20,136 --> 00:35:23,436 because girls are more bound For a man after having sex, 556 00:35:23,469 --> 00:35:27,169 while people can like hitting and stopping, and that's good and right. 557 00:35:27,202 --> 00:35:29,202 So, maybe women turn to that, 558 00:35:29,236 --> 00:35:33,802 because it's just an easier route, and they don't feel disrespectful. 559 00:35:33,836 --> 00:35:36,836 Historically and traditionally, This is an emotional bond. 560 00:35:36,869 --> 00:35:39,369 But what we see is that also shifts 561 00:35:39,402 --> 00:35:43,902 You see more women and more become more worldly, If you want to say, 562 00:35:43,936 --> 00:35:47,302 or there are physical appetite there that they want to feed 563 00:35:47,336 --> 00:35:49,869 I don't know if that increase in women is really affected by it, 564 00:35:49,902 --> 00:35:52,969 or the fact that more and more than them are willing to enter and receive treatment. 565 00:36:01,069 --> 00:36:04,902 [HETFIELD] Most people, even in today's culture will be hard to believe that the words "women" and "pornography addicts" can be included in the same sentence. 566 00:36:04,936 --> 00:36:09,369 The fact is that research now shows 567 00:36:09,402 --> 00:36:11,969 which is estimated to be one out of every three pornographic addicts is a woman 568 00:36:12,002 --> 00:36:16,069 And we don't talk about it emotional pornography 569 00:36:16,102 --> 00:36:18,869 that you might find in a sad romance novel, 570 00:36:18,902 --> 00:36:21,402 but full-on, hardcore porn. 571 00:36:21,436 --> 00:36:24,269 Be the first time, I remember pulling it and seeing some clips. 572 00:36:24,302 --> 00:36:27,302 573 00:36:27,336 --> 00:36:30,736 It's just this is very rushed 574 00:36:30,769 --> 00:36:34,502 I mean, it's in a hurry that I've never felt before. 575 00:36:34,536 --> 00:36:38,602 It feels like, "I'm now in the world it's really creepy, 576 00:36:38,636 --> 00:36:41,869 and I shouldn't be here, but I can't get out of it." 577 00:36:41,902 --> 00:36:43,469 That's just... I will never forget. 578 00:36:43,502 --> 00:36:46,236 It feels like a fever. Almost like ice go through my veins 579 00:36:46,269 --> 00:36:48,269 [HETFIELD] This woman, who we will call Jane, 580 00:36:48,302 --> 00:36:51,502 very open about attachment to pornography 581 00:36:53,636 --> 00:36:55,502 and deep, dark and cold water The addiction he experienced 582 00:36:55,536 --> 00:36:57,636 since the first time he saw it 583 00:36:57,669 --> 00:36:59,636 As soon as I wake up, I have a laptop, 584 00:36:59,669 --> 00:37:03,102 and that is the first thing I did before I got out of bed 585 00:37:03,136 --> 00:37:05,402 and the last thing before I go to sleep. 586 00:37:05,436 --> 00:37:09,602 It gets to the point Sometimes six times a day. 587 00:37:09,636 --> 00:37:14,036 And then there will be a day that it will only play repeatedly in my mind 588 00:37:14,069 --> 00:37:16,636 And at work, I just can't focus on work 589 00:37:16,669 --> 00:37:20,302 until I only treat from things, you know, to get it out of my mind 590 00:37:20,336 --> 00:37:24,336 That's just... it's taking over. It took over my mind. 591 00:37:25,636 --> 00:37:27,569 Only my thought process. 592 00:37:27,602 --> 00:37:30,369 That changes me. That is only... 593 00:37:30,402 --> 00:37:34,169 This is taken from the innocence of from me that I can't go back 594 00:37:35,169 --> 00:37:37,002 And even now, 595 00:37:37,036 --> 00:37:40,402 I will find myself slipping into some behavior in the bedroom 596 00:37:40,436 --> 00:37:42,436 which I know where they come from 597 00:37:42,469 --> 00:37:47,036 It is not only satisfying enough to watch men and women again. 598 00:37:47,069 --> 00:37:50,236 That level of addiction I have arrived somewhere where I need to see things that are darker, 599 00:37:50,269 --> 00:37:53,536 and that's really what is starting to scare me. 600 00:37:53,569 --> 00:37:55,569 Because not only, you know, watching porn. 601 00:37:55,602 --> 00:37:58,936 It is observing many things that are darker and darker. 602 00:37:58,969 --> 00:38:02,636 603 00:38:02,669 --> 00:38:06,302 [HETFIELD] For Jane, because the addiction becomes darker and darker, as he said, 604 00:38:06,336 --> 00:38:09,069 it also costs him some relationships. 605 00:38:09,102 --> 00:38:13,836 That's where the sample is located an increasingly growing trend and more among the people. 606 00:38:13,869 --> 00:38:18,069 As people grow inherent in bonds formed through pornography, 607 00:38:18,102 --> 00:38:20,036 they become equally apart 608 00:38:20,069 --> 00:38:23,936 of authenticity real relationship with other humans. 609 00:38:23,969 --> 00:38:27,536 That, in turn, will be brought into a future relationship, 610 00:38:27,569 --> 00:38:29,436 usually, with poor results. 611 00:38:29,469 --> 00:38:33,336 The strongest bond experience we have physiologically 612 00:38:33,369 --> 00:38:35,469 is a bond from sexual relations. 613 00:38:35,502 --> 00:38:40,202 So where someone has been bound or connects their passion with pornography for so long, 614 00:38:40,236 --> 00:38:43,936 they are no longer become sexually aroused without using pornography. 615 00:38:43,969 --> 00:38:47,536 Many people see pornography, 616 00:38:47,569 --> 00:38:50,269 they will spend most of their time 617 00:38:50,302 --> 00:38:53,702 looking for the ideal person 618 00:38:55,236 --> 00:38:57,736 And as soon as they find it, 619 00:38:57,769 --> 00:39:00,669 uh, that person is no longer ideal anymore. 620 00:39:00,702 --> 00:39:04,769 There must be someone else. So they continue the search. 621 00:39:04,802 --> 00:39:09,302 But mostly for them, It's about imitating behavior. 622 00:39:09,336 --> 00:39:12,502 It's about, "Oh, okay, that's how it is I should do it. 623 00:39:12,536 --> 00:39:15,769 That is how I look When I am masculine. "okay? 624 00:39:15,802 --> 00:39:20,569 For women, they see that, and sexual behavior is needed back seat 625 00:39:20,602 --> 00:39:25,102 to the physical appearance of women and the pressure that puts on them. 626 00:39:25,136 --> 00:39:27,902 [HETFIELD] Unfortunately, thus starting the destruction of intimacy 627 00:39:27,936 --> 00:39:31,002 and the ability to connect to each other as human beings. pornography. 628 00:39:31,036 --> 00:39:32,936 They, uh, they will never find that person 629 00:39:32,969 --> 00:39:35,636 are the people they want 630 00:39:35,669 --> 00:39:40,302 631 00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:44,236 632 00:39:44,269 --> 00:39:47,136 633 00:39:47,169 --> 00:39:50,869 because what they have seen, uh, 634 00:39:50,902 --> 00:39:52,802 you know, in their pornography 635 00:39:52,836 --> 00:39:55,302 Intimacy requires, Obviously, that vulnerability. 636 00:39:55,336 --> 00:39:57,969 But that's intimacy build a sense of connection, 637 00:39:58,002 --> 00:40:01,336 build a sense of humanity, build compassion, 638 00:40:01,369 --> 00:40:05,202 build a sense of humility, tenderness, you know, 639 00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:08,002 that is between men and women. 640 00:40:08,036 --> 00:40:10,536 When you are looking for on sexual behavior is aggressive, 641 00:40:10,569 --> 00:40:13,069 You de-personalize others, 642 00:40:13,102 --> 00:40:15,036 or objectifying other people, 643 00:40:15,069 --> 00:40:16,536 If you want to see it in that language 644 00:40:16,569 --> 00:40:19,502 "I have made this person an object of sexual release, 645 00:40:19,536 --> 00:40:22,269 an object of sexual pleasure. " 646 00:40:22,302 --> 00:40:27,669 The danger is that we lose the ability to connect. 647 00:40:27,702 --> 00:40:33,102 We lose the ability to really empathize with others our relations. It's not destructive, but it's not constructive 648 00:40:33,136 --> 00:40:36,569 Because you're fair think of you 649 00:40:36,602 --> 00:40:39,702 650 00:40:39,736 --> 00:40:42,502 651 00:40:42,536 --> 00:40:46,036 652 00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:49,602 653 00:40:49,636 --> 00:40:53,469 654 00:40:53,502 --> 00:40:55,969 655 00:40:56,002 --> 00:40:59,036 and your own pleasure, as I said. 656 00:41:01,036 --> 00:41:05,536 And I think if you do that, and your partner does that, 657 00:41:05,569 --> 00:41:07,369 it's not good for couples. 658 00:41:07,402 --> 00:41:10,436 [HETFIELD] So, Jack meets Jill. They seem to fall in love. 659 00:41:10,469 --> 00:41:12,236 All right with the world. 660 00:41:12,269 --> 00:41:14,036 Except for one problem. 661 00:41:14,069 --> 00:41:16,469 One of them, or potentially both, 662 00:41:16,502 --> 00:41:20,469 have or don't have a problem with porn 663 00:41:20,502 --> 00:41:24,502 That personal nature one of the greatest strengths, 664 00:41:24,536 --> 00:41:28,369 is not something 665 00:41:28,402 --> 00:41:32,869 if ever, rarely, will be something You can see someone. 666 00:41:32,902 --> 00:41:37,302 Unless they verbally discuss and explain what they do, 667 00:41:37,336 --> 00:41:38,302 Often, you don't know. 668 00:41:41,069 --> 00:41:44,536 Come see. I am a single mother a young child, 669 00:41:44,569 --> 00:41:48,136 and we met through a friend. 670 00:41:48,169 --> 00:41:50,736 He introduces us and... 671 00:41:51,836 --> 00:41:55,469 He is very charming, and handsome, and only... 672 00:41:55,502 --> 00:41:59,136 I don't know You just stared at him, and he is American-American. 673 00:41:59,169 --> 00:42:03,702 And, uh, beautiful eyes and big smile 674 00:42:03,736 --> 00:42:06,169 He has a good job, good education, 675 00:42:06,202 --> 00:42:10,302 and he likes me. We become good friends very fast. 676 00:42:10,336 --> 00:42:12,469 And, uh, that works. 677 00:42:12,502 --> 00:42:14,936 That's very good. He is my best friend. 678 00:42:14,969 --> 00:42:17,802 He only brought my child under his wing 679 00:42:17,836 --> 00:42:21,202 and really step in that role, which is extraordinary. 680 00:42:21,236 --> 00:42:24,869 He is He is my stone in so many areas of my life. 681 00:42:24,902 --> 00:42:29,302 He is my protector. He is my knight in shining armor 682 00:42:32,269 --> 00:42:36,902 Sometimes we will go six weeks even without having all intimacy. 683 00:42:36,936 --> 00:42:41,002 He will say, "OK, I just don't have a sex drive that most normal people do." 684 00:42:41,036 --> 00:42:43,436 That is what he will tell me, and I don't know. 685 00:42:43,469 --> 00:42:46,569 I mean, I'm in my early 20s. I'm just like, "Okay." 686 00:42:46,602 --> 00:42:49,402 He really hard time... 687 00:42:51,236 --> 00:42:55,869 good or long lasting. 688 00:42:55,902 --> 00:43:01,669 And sometimes, we will get it to the point where we can't Even physically do have sex. 689 00:43:01,702 --> 00:43:04,802 And that's just... It's over before even starting. 690 00:43:04,836 --> 00:43:06,702 And that's very difficult. 691 00:43:06,736 --> 00:43:11,602 In my mind, it feels like, "I'm not fat, I'm not bad, and I like you. 692 00:43:11,636 --> 00:43:13,802 What's the problem? Like..." 693 00:43:14,936 --> 00:43:17,736 Do you know? And sometimes, that's... 694 00:43:17,769 --> 00:43:19,436 Literally, he will try, 695 00:43:19,469 --> 00:43:23,002 and then next time, You know, "Good night," 696 00:43:23,036 --> 00:43:25,069 When I prance at night or whatever. 697 00:43:25,102 --> 00:43:27,402 And that's just... It's very... 698 00:43:27,436 --> 00:43:30,502 As a woman, it's very difficult to understand what is my role 699 00:43:30,536 --> 00:43:34,302 And I know the relationship isn't all about sex, 700 00:43:34,336 --> 00:43:37,002 But I mean, isn't that the joy of getting married? 701 00:43:37,036 --> 00:43:40,169 Let's continue, You know, and I just... 702 00:43:40,202 --> 00:43:43,802 That's just nothing sometimes 703 00:43:43,836 --> 00:43:46,102 My brother and I, He was like 11 at the time, 704 00:43:56,449 --> 00:43:59,383 we are in LimeWire, trying to find music, 705 00:43:59,416 --> 00:44:02,216 and that appears in history... 706 00:44:02,249 --> 00:44:04,483 707 00:44:05,583 --> 00:44:07,449 some really bad things. 708 00:44:07,483 --> 00:44:09,916 And my sister likes "What's in this world?" 709 00:44:09,949 --> 00:44:13,616 I'm like, "Ah, don't look at that!" You know, he's 11 years old! 710 00:44:13,649 --> 00:44:15,249 And I flipped it out. 711 00:44:15,283 --> 00:44:18,216 And you know, he lied about it 712 00:44:18,249 --> 00:44:19,916 He blames him on his brother. 713 00:44:19,949 --> 00:44:21,649 And I was banned his brother from home 714 00:44:21,683 --> 00:44:23,883 I said, "He was never permitted to come back here 715 00:44:23,916 --> 00:44:25,516 Why did he do that? in our house?" 716 00:44:25,549 --> 00:44:27,983 And I'm very hurt. I am very hurt, 717 00:44:28,016 --> 00:44:29,649 and I confronted him about it, 718 00:44:29,683 --> 00:44:31,349 and I said, "I just don't understand. 719 00:44:31,383 --> 00:44:33,683 You sleep next to me every night, 720 00:44:33,716 --> 00:44:36,949 and you don't want having sex with me, but... 721 00:44:38,516 --> 00:44:41,016 I will find pictures naked women 722 00:44:41,049 --> 00:44:43,583 So you have to do sex drive. 723 00:44:43,616 --> 00:44:48,383 You definitely want to have sex or something. Like, I don't understand. 724 00:44:48,416 --> 00:44:51,216 Just come down in the hall, You know, and lie down next to me. 725 00:44:51,249 --> 00:44:54,249 We can have that relationship. " 726 00:44:54,283 --> 00:44:57,683 And, um, that's the first time. 727 00:44:57,716 --> 00:44:59,949 And it's scary to me, I think. 728 00:44:59,983 --> 00:45:01,749 I don't understand and... 729 00:45:01,783 --> 00:45:04,149 Maybe in college. 730 00:45:05,116 --> 00:45:07,549 I start college around, 731 00:45:07,583 --> 00:45:12,016 You know, his birth is from the Internet, like when did it start to become big And, uh, you know, I found myself... 732 00:45:12,049 --> 00:45:16,649 I have a room for one that I live in 733 00:45:16,683 --> 00:45:19,049 and find myself alone in my room more and more often. 734 00:45:19,083 --> 00:45:23,283 And at that moment, you know, I just found out that something that everyone does, 735 00:45:23,316 --> 00:45:26,149 but I think I realized it I did it more. 736 00:45:26,183 --> 00:45:28,383 But at that time, I realized it was a problem. 737 00:45:28,416 --> 00:45:30,183 I think everyone, you know... All college kids do this. 738 00:45:30,216 --> 00:45:33,083 The amount, I don't think it hit me 739 00:45:34,483 --> 00:45:36,349 arrive later when I'm married 740 00:45:36,383 --> 00:45:39,416 741 00:45:39,449 --> 00:45:41,916 There are several times in my marriage 742 00:45:41,949 --> 00:45:45,749 where he caught me on the Internet or whatever, 743 00:45:45,783 --> 00:45:48,049 and at that time, I began to say, 744 00:45:48,083 --> 00:45:50,483 "Okay, I'm sorry. I won't do it again." 745 00:45:50,516 --> 00:45:52,983 And that happens several more times, 746 00:45:53,016 --> 00:45:55,283 and at that time, was like... I... 747 00:45:55,316 --> 00:45:58,583 You know, I thought to myself, "Well, I'm starting to hide... 748 00:45:58,616 --> 00:46:01,116 I feel like I'm hiding this. That can't be true." 749 00:46:01,149 --> 00:46:03,783 This is coercion. It's like other addictions. 750 00:46:03,816 --> 00:46:07,049 Uh, like I said, when I was young, 751 00:46:07,083 --> 00:46:08,749 that is something It makes me feel good. 752 00:46:08,783 --> 00:46:12,849 That is a place I can run to, um, for almost protection. 753 00:46:12,883 --> 00:46:17,116 Uh, it becomes a drug for boredom, for loneliness, 754 00:46:17,149 --> 00:46:21,449 for anger, for sadness, uh, for anything 755 00:46:21,483 --> 00:46:26,516 And that's... When I've finished something old, 756 00:46:26,549 --> 00:46:29,616 it's just something you just... I go back to, and I go back to. 757 00:46:29,649 --> 00:46:32,883 It really makes me feel like something wrong with me 758 00:46:32,916 --> 00:46:38,049 That makes me feel is not sexy, can't be loved 759 00:46:38,083 --> 00:46:41,916 Um, I feel there must be something that is wrong with me. 760 00:46:41,949 --> 00:46:44,949 Everything is boiled until then. There is something wrong with me 761 00:46:44,983 --> 00:46:47,349 Me too... I mean, at that time, yes, 762 00:46:47,383 --> 00:46:49,516 I think I weigh 98 pounds. 763 00:46:49,549 --> 00:46:52,783 You know, I can't be thin enough. I can't be pretty enough. 764 00:46:52,816 --> 00:46:56,816 I think that's more, for me, that it is... 765 00:46:58,883 --> 00:47:03,816 You know, her actions intimacy and sex take a lot of effort 766 00:47:03,849 --> 00:47:07,049 and for me, at that time, 767 00:47:07,083 --> 00:47:10,916 it's much easier to see pornography 768 00:47:10,949 --> 00:47:14,016 You know, everything can, uh, you know... 769 00:47:14,049 --> 00:47:18,016 Nothing... I don't have to... 770 00:47:18,049 --> 00:47:21,883 help others, other "people" are involved. 771 00:47:24,083 --> 00:47:27,183 Unfortunately, you know, it's just It seems easier to do it. 772 00:47:50,916 --> 00:47:54,183 I only go for maybe three days, Friday Saturday Sunday. 773 00:47:54,216 --> 00:47:55,749 I'm home, 774 00:47:55,783 --> 00:48:00,116 and at that time, Carrie Underwood "Jesus, take the wheel" 775 00:48:00,149 --> 00:48:01,583 is a very big song. 776 00:48:01,616 --> 00:48:04,383 And I like it, and I am saying those words. 777 00:48:04,416 --> 00:48:08,583 So, I typed in Google search, "Carrie Underwood, 'Jesus, Take the Wheel'", 778 00:48:08,616 --> 00:48:11,183 and when I type "Carrie Underwood", 779 00:48:11,216 --> 00:48:13,683 A list of female names appears. 780 00:48:13,716 --> 00:48:16,349 And I'm like, "What's this all?" 781 00:48:16,383 --> 00:48:20,783 And my heart starts, you know, leave, because... 782 00:48:20,816 --> 00:48:23,416 I've been like that On this road before, 783 00:48:23,449 --> 00:48:25,183 and we are in a good place 784 00:48:25,216 --> 00:48:26,483 that I'm like, "There's no way. 785 00:48:26,516 --> 00:48:29,616 There's no way we Will go through this right now." 786 00:48:29,649 --> 00:48:31,949 And I started clicking on all names, 787 00:48:31,983 --> 00:48:34,883 and you know how your search history is with Google, 788 00:48:34,916 --> 00:48:36,449 and even then, 789 00:48:36,483 --> 00:48:40,549 the page will appear, and the link you visited is purple, 790 00:48:40,583 --> 00:48:43,449 and that one You don't go to blue. 791 00:48:43,483 --> 00:48:46,816 And that, you know, "Jenny XXX" or whatever. 792 00:48:46,849 --> 00:48:51,016 And I like, "What happened? is this all?" 793 00:48:51,049 --> 00:48:54,449 So of course, I'm really nosy, and I started clicking everything. 794 00:48:54,483 --> 00:48:58,316 And I only see all these things, and then I'm very angry. 795 00:48:58,349 --> 00:48:59,416 [INTERVIEWER] Heart pounding 796 00:48:59,449 --> 00:49:01,416 I'm just... I'm a mess 797 00:49:01,449 --> 00:49:03,316 And I started taking Post-it Notes, 798 00:49:03,349 --> 00:49:06,016 and I write each name of a single woman 799 00:49:06,049 --> 00:49:07,883 which I saw it clicked. 800 00:49:07,916 --> 00:49:11,016 And I just put them the whole table, 801 00:49:11,049 --> 00:49:13,649 whole screen, everywhere. 802 00:49:13,683 --> 00:49:16,883 And at one time, you know, he came back in, 803 00:49:16,916 --> 00:49:18,449 and he said something to me, 804 00:49:18,483 --> 00:49:20,983 and what I'm saying is, "Why don't you ask? all your girlfriends?" 805 00:49:21,549 --> 00:49:22,983 And he is like... 806 00:49:24,216 --> 00:49:25,583 "Oh." 807 00:49:25,616 --> 00:49:28,249 I'm like, "What the heck is this? do you do it while I go? 808 00:49:28,283 --> 00:49:30,683 I go for three days. Are you kidding me?" 809 00:49:30,716 --> 00:49:33,283 I think it's true don't hit me until... 810 00:49:33,316 --> 00:49:36,949 There is one thing in my marriage, when he... 811 00:49:38,716 --> 00:49:41,449 Facing me about it, and I am rather clean. 812 00:49:41,483 --> 00:49:43,216 And like, "I feel this way I am. 813 00:49:43,249 --> 00:49:46,549 But in my head, it doesn't make sense That doesn't make sense. real woman? " 814 00:49:46,583 --> 00:49:47,983 And I think I even said it to him at some point 815 00:49:48,016 --> 00:49:51,849 816 00:49:51,883 --> 00:49:53,849 817 00:49:53,883 --> 00:49:55,783 Like, "What's wrong with you?" 818 00:49:55,816 --> 00:49:57,983 And he stopped and... 819 00:49:58,016 --> 00:50:02,183 And we stand, You know, in our office, 820 00:50:02,216 --> 00:50:04,549 and he said, "I think I'm addicted to porn." 821 00:50:07,783 --> 00:50:10,883 And I sit on the floor in my office, and I cry. 822 00:50:10,916 --> 00:50:14,583 Because I don't know what it means What does it mean? 823 00:50:14,616 --> 00:50:17,849 I know what it means alcohol. 824 00:50:17,883 --> 00:50:21,183 I know what it means drug addiction. 825 00:50:21,216 --> 00:50:24,583 What do you mean are you addicted to porn? What does it mean? 826 00:50:24,616 --> 00:50:27,849 I feel cheated a million times 827 00:50:27,883 --> 00:50:30,116 by a hundred different girls. 828 00:50:30,149 --> 00:50:33,883 I feel inadequate. I feel like I don't know what to do. 829 00:50:33,916 --> 00:50:36,316 I gave him a lot of ultimatums. 830 00:50:36,349 --> 00:50:39,949 Me or porn Your family or porn 831 00:50:39,983 --> 00:50:44,983 Um, and at any time, he really believes it, 832 00:50:45,016 --> 00:50:46,683 and I want to believe it 833 00:50:46,716 --> 00:50:49,349 when he will say, "I choose you. I choose my family. 834 00:50:49,383 --> 00:50:51,849 I don't want to see porn. 835 00:50:51,883 --> 00:50:55,916 I want to be with you, I want to be better." 836 00:50:55,949 --> 00:50:59,483 Um, and he will cry and I will cry, 837 00:50:59,516 --> 00:51:01,983 and that never lasts. 838 00:51:03,216 --> 00:51:05,049 He always sucks back 839 00:51:05,083 --> 00:51:08,383 My sparkling knight is a pornography addict. 840 00:51:09,249 --> 00:51:10,449 How are you... 841 00:51:10,483 --> 00:51:12,983 How do you take it? pieces from that? 842 00:51:13,816 --> 00:51:17,549 How do you continue with your life 843 00:51:17,583 --> 00:51:20,116 If you have given yourself, and your child... 844 00:51:21,549 --> 00:51:24,616 and everything for this person, 845 00:51:24,649 --> 00:51:28,916 and they can't stop see that 846 00:51:28,949 --> 00:51:33,049 He has these eyes, those eyes blue crystals 847 00:51:33,083 --> 00:51:35,649 And I used to love his eyes. 848 00:51:35,683 --> 00:51:38,816 And I came to the point where I will see his eyes, 849 00:51:38,849 --> 00:51:41,116 and I want to stab it in his eyes 850 00:51:41,149 --> 00:51:43,083 I want to poke it, 851 00:51:43,116 --> 00:51:45,649 because I know what he will see all day 852 00:51:46,449 --> 00:51:48,849 And his hand, you know... 853 00:51:48,883 --> 00:51:52,083 When I saw Nathan, He was very all-American and handsome, 854 00:51:52,116 --> 00:51:55,549 and you will never think... 855 00:51:55,583 --> 00:51:57,949 You know, when you think only addicts in general, 856 00:51:57,983 --> 00:52:01,549 You think dirty, and you don't take a shower, and you are rather dirty 857 00:52:01,583 --> 00:52:06,516 He is a stand-up, only handsome man 858 00:52:06,549 --> 00:52:08,583 And his hand... I will see his hand, 859 00:52:08,616 --> 00:52:12,416 and I will feel horrified when I touch me 860 00:52:12,449 --> 00:52:15,783 And I will only... I want to release his hand. 861 00:52:15,816 --> 00:52:18,483 Because I know what he does with his hands all day Only the man rejected you love and want... 862 00:52:20,283 --> 00:52:24,283 again and again, and again, it's just... 863 00:52:25,683 --> 00:52:29,416 [sighs] you just... 864 00:52:30,616 --> 00:52:33,449 865 00:52:33,483 --> 00:52:36,449 There is a point where you can no longer move. 866 00:52:36,483 --> 00:52:39,483 I think that's the point when I realize that I need to do something about it, 867 00:52:39,516 --> 00:52:43,583 but I am still very incapable to make good and solid progress. 868 00:52:43,616 --> 00:52:46,249 I started going for several meetings, 869 00:52:46,283 --> 00:52:50,783 but it seems like I'm not... really into it for me 870 00:52:50,816 --> 00:52:52,216 I don't really want it to make changes. 871 00:52:52,249 --> 00:52:55,883 I just want to save my marriage, and, uh... 872 00:52:55,916 --> 00:52:58,349 I don't really understand until it's too late 873 00:52:58,383 --> 00:53:00,916 I will say that the victim is here 874 00:53:00,949 --> 00:53:04,483 whether I am, and my children, and my marriage 875 00:53:05,983 --> 00:53:09,749 And that's a shame, and this is... 876 00:53:10,616 --> 00:53:12,083 This is a crime even, 877 00:53:12,116 --> 00:53:17,883 because you can't even imagine it pain and victim 878 00:53:17,916 --> 00:53:20,149 that this takes our family. 879 00:53:20,716 --> 00:53:22,916 This is indescribable. 880 00:53:22,949 --> 00:53:25,316 This is definitely something that people don't agree, 881 00:53:25,349 --> 00:53:28,049 that pushes limits, and that they fight. 882 00:53:28,083 --> 00:53:30,816 I think it causes jealousy. I think it causes insecurity. 883 00:53:30,849 --> 00:53:35,149 And I think that contributes to the overall situation 884 00:53:35,183 --> 00:53:37,349 it will lead for divorce 885 00:53:37,383 --> 00:53:41,516 And I think that adds components of sexual cheating 886 00:53:41,549 --> 00:53:45,383 even if it is actually Cheating doesn't happen, 887 00:53:45,416 --> 00:53:49,149 uh, for that mixture At least, it adds for insecurity. 888 00:53:49,183 --> 00:53:53,216 [HETFIELD] Brad Dalley is a former divorce lawyer who has seen 889 00:53:53,249 --> 00:53:56,983 many times the situation is revealed like from Betsy and Nate. 890 00:53:57,016 --> 00:53:59,583 He shows that There are other victims here 891 00:53:59,616 --> 00:54:03,683 who really do not have control over the situation 892 00:54:03,716 --> 00:54:05,949 I mean, who is the real victim in divorce? 893 00:54:06,849 --> 00:54:09,549 If there are children, who is paying? 894 00:54:09,583 --> 00:54:12,116 You know, I mean, children are always the ones who lose I think parents also lose, 895 00:54:12,149 --> 00:54:13,983 896 00:54:14,016 --> 00:54:15,816 But children always lose. 897 00:54:15,849 --> 00:54:18,816 Maybe you believe that doesn't hurt you or someone else, 898 00:54:18,849 --> 00:54:22,549 but if it hurts your relationship with your partner, 899 00:54:22,583 --> 00:54:25,183 um, this will have... 900 00:54:25,216 --> 00:54:28,816 The impact on your relationship with your children too 901 00:54:28,849 --> 00:54:31,549 And if that leads to divorce, yeah, 902 00:54:31,583 --> 00:54:34,149 You know, I hope you enjoy spending less time with your children, 903 00:54:34,183 --> 00:54:36,349 Because that's what happened will happen. 904 00:54:38,449 --> 00:54:42,216 You know, and have fun explain why you got it divorce to people 905 00:54:42,249 --> 00:54:46,816 Despite Betsy and Nate The best efforts to protect them children from this situation, 906 00:54:46,849 --> 00:54:50,149 finally find the way into their lives too. 907 00:54:50,183 --> 00:54:52,716 So, at the age of eight, 908 00:54:52,749 --> 00:54:56,116 I have to sit with my child and say, 909 00:54:56,149 --> 00:55:01,583 "This is not what you have a relationship in real life 910 00:55:01,616 --> 00:55:04,783 Sex is beautiful, and it is extraordinary 911 00:55:04,816 --> 00:55:06,816 And one day, you will experience it, 912 00:55:06,849 --> 00:55:09,149 but not like this This is not real. 913 00:55:09,183 --> 00:55:10,749 This is disgusting. 914 00:55:10,783 --> 00:55:14,683 People don't really do this When they have sex. It's not like this. " 915 00:55:14,716 --> 00:55:18,149 And how are you really? make eight years understand that 916 00:55:18,183 --> 00:55:21,316 [HETFIELD] As you can see, The problem is huge Ripple effects, 917 00:55:21,349 --> 00:55:24,083 not only takes a toll on addicts, but their partner, 918 00:55:24,116 --> 00:55:27,583 their friends, their families, their entire environment. 919 00:55:27,616 --> 00:55:31,349 So how are addicts active? Don't keep going trouble? 920 00:55:31,383 --> 00:55:34,516 What are men like Nate? say to his child? 921 00:55:34,549 --> 00:55:36,583 [NATE] I just tried to tell him about my experience, I think, 922 00:55:36,616 --> 00:55:40,049 and how it affects my life, how it affects my marriage 923 00:55:41,649 --> 00:55:44,049 How it affects my welfare. 924 00:55:44,083 --> 00:55:46,616 Because of this, uh... 925 00:55:46,649 --> 00:55:49,383 I mean, It's not like drugs 926 00:55:49,416 --> 00:55:53,116 where it physically affects my appearance or anything like that, but, uh... 927 00:55:54,716 --> 00:55:56,616 From the outside, I look like a normal person. 928 00:55:56,649 --> 00:56:00,083 Inside, half the time, I just twisted that, 929 00:56:00,116 --> 00:56:04,083 You know, this... Sometimes it's hard to do it past one day 930 00:56:04,116 --> 00:56:05,449 And so I fought now. 931 00:56:05,483 --> 00:56:07,983 You know, I will never be able to get it back I thank God that I did not do it lost my children because of this 932 00:56:09,316 --> 00:56:12,249 But that... This is a moral problem now, and that is something that only... 933 00:56:13,949 --> 00:56:17,983 934 00:56:18,016 --> 00:56:21,316 You know, this is a battle for my soul almost 935 00:56:21,349 --> 00:56:23,249 If I can return and change it, I will do it. 936 00:56:23,283 --> 00:56:25,183 I know that is impossible now 937 00:56:27,049 --> 00:56:28,683 [INTERVIEWER] Does that bother you? 938 00:56:30,449 --> 00:56:32,483 Yes. [laughs sweetly] 939 00:56:35,316 --> 00:56:36,916 I mean, uh... 940 00:56:38,683 --> 00:56:40,016 [clears throat] 941 00:56:42,149 --> 00:56:45,883 He never... He never asked in such a relationship. 942 00:56:54,449 --> 00:56:56,816 [NATE] I can be happy for him now. 943 00:57:05,616 --> 00:57:08,216 [sighs] You know, that's... 944 00:57:10,616 --> 00:57:15,183 I can be happy for her Now that she remarries, and she is happy 945 00:57:15,216 --> 00:57:18,216 You know, there are many things that people say they never hope in their worst enemy, 946 00:57:18,249 --> 00:57:20,049 and here it is 947 00:57:29,116 --> 00:57:32,383 [HETFIELD] There is another problem here, side effects that must be overcome. 948 00:57:32,416 --> 00:57:36,683 Besides the pain that can be felt through this synthetic affair, if you want, 949 00:57:36,716 --> 00:57:39,983 is the impact it has on the partner, more often the woman, 950 00:57:40,016 --> 00:57:42,383 when they find it they compete with 951 00:57:42,416 --> 00:57:44,749 and compare themselves for pornography 952 00:57:44,783 --> 00:57:48,649 When someone finds they try to beat the world of choice, 953 00:57:48,683 --> 00:57:51,783 Sometimes the only choice is to give up. 954 00:57:51,816 --> 00:57:57,516 What is pornography? say it is the only one . The one assessed is young people, 955 00:57:58,383 --> 00:58:01,983 and beauty, and, uh... 956 00:58:02,016 --> 00:58:04,883 View of beauty, 957 00:58:04,916 --> 00:58:08,483 uh, what's the matter? Hollywood has sold, 958 00:58:08,516 --> 00:58:12,716 that they must be a certain age, definitely body type, certain shape. 959 00:58:12,749 --> 00:58:16,849 And, uh, yes, that... that's... 960 00:58:17,749 --> 00:58:21,249 very demeaning wife 961 00:58:21,283 --> 00:58:26,383 to see, you know, their husband is not satisfied with him, 962 00:58:26,416 --> 00:58:28,216 That's how he saw it. 963 00:58:28,249 --> 00:58:30,983 But when you see women, and how they are, 964 00:58:31,016 --> 00:58:35,783 in one way they are negatively affected by porn, All right, 965 00:58:35,816 --> 00:58:40,949 it has to do with the image of the women they see in the film and quotations of their body "perfection". 966 00:58:40,983 --> 00:58:45,149 That way stereotypical depiction what beauty is like 967 00:58:45,183 --> 00:58:50,249 no sexual behavior 968 00:58:50,283 --> 00:58:53,283 Sexual behavior for many women is irrelevant 969 00:58:53,316 --> 00:58:56,916 to, "What happened? the woman looks like, 970 00:58:56,949 --> 00:58:59,716 and do I need it now? live according to that?" 971 00:58:59,749 --> 00:59:04,016 Because when you are together A man you know has having watched porn movies, 972 00:59:04,049 --> 00:59:07,983 You think he saw you because you didn't see like them. 973 00:59:08,016 --> 00:59:11,349 That your body is not big. 974 00:59:11,383 --> 00:59:13,649 975 00:59:13,683 --> 00:59:15,283 You know, you can't do it for you Women are only obsessed with and obsessed with it. 976 00:59:15,316 --> 00:59:17,749 And you go straight to the point where you almost want to give up 977 00:59:17,783 --> 00:59:20,516 You know, you just feel like, "I have never been able to compete with That, so why do you try?" So, many of my friends have this problem 978 00:59:20,549 --> 00:59:24,783 They lose their self-esteem. They lost their identity. 979 00:59:24,816 --> 00:59:27,383 They feel less than. 980 00:59:27,416 --> 00:59:30,816 I just think that men need to understand that 981 00:59:30,849 --> 00:59:32,616 not every girl will do it What do the girls in the clip do, 982 00:59:32,649 --> 00:59:36,149 983 00:59:36,183 --> 00:59:40,116 984 00:59:40,149 --> 00:59:44,216 and to submit such requests to women is really unfair. 985 00:59:44,249 --> 00:59:47,649 You know, so I think women just need to be able to say, 986 00:59:47,683 --> 00:59:49,116 "I'm just... I won't do that." 987 00:59:49,149 --> 00:59:52,249 I remember thinking, "These women are beautiful, 988 00:59:52,283 --> 00:59:56,049 and I'm not like that. 989 00:59:56,083 --> 00:59:59,783 And he can have a new girl at the click of a button, 990 00:59:59,816 --> 01:00:02,616 and I'm just me 991 01:00:02,649 --> 01:00:07,049 But I love you, and I don't understand why I'm not good enough 992 01:00:07,083 --> 01:00:11,016 I'm a real woman with stretch marks and saggy butt. 993 01:00:11,049 --> 01:00:13,516 Uh, what else do you want want from me 994 01:00:13,549 --> 01:00:15,449 I'm really... I'm not fat I'm not ugly 995 01:00:15,483 --> 01:00:17,183 I love you I am not perfect. 996 01:00:17,216 --> 01:00:22,349 But I can't compete with that no matter what I do I can't. " 997 01:00:22,383 --> 01:00:28,816 I... my self-perception changes so drastically 998 01:00:28,849 --> 01:00:33,049 I'm still struggling with some of the of the rest. 999 01:00:33,083 --> 01:00:34,683 And and... 1000 01:00:35,883 --> 01:00:39,749 I don't feel like I have... 1001 01:00:39,783 --> 01:00:42,683 You know, men should to take care of their wives, 1002 01:00:42,716 --> 01:00:47,049 and make them feel beautiful, and all that stuff, and I don't feel all that. 1003 01:00:47,083 --> 01:00:49,516 They want to know that 1004 01:00:49,549 --> 01:00:54,116 there are men they want, that they respect, 1005 01:00:54,149 --> 01:00:55,716 who sees them, 1006 01:00:55,749 --> 01:00:58,283 and treat them differently compared to other women In the world. 1007 01:00:59,949 --> 01:01:04,216 There is something special or unique about who they are 1008 01:01:04,249 --> 01:01:09,683 that can somehow touch this man the way that other women don't. 1009 01:01:11,583 --> 01:01:14,216 So, women who have that need, 1010 01:01:14,249 --> 01:01:17,116 women who have that desire 1011 01:01:17,149 --> 01:01:20,783 in a world where pornography is the norm 1012 01:01:20,816 --> 01:01:25,216 really desperate to feel special in a real relationship 1013 01:01:26,174 --> 01:01:27,841 [HETFIELD] This is an interesting thought 1014 01:01:27,874 --> 01:01:31,908 It takes alcohol less than 24 hours leave your system 1015 01:01:31,941 --> 01:01:34,974 Cocaine needs two to four days 1016 01:01:35,008 --> 01:01:38,974 But pornography can never be cleared of mind. 1017 01:01:40,308 --> 01:01:44,008 In essence, the person's property brings around their medicine. 1018 01:01:44,041 --> 01:01:47,341 So, memories from previous view, 1019 01:01:47,374 --> 01:01:51,941 previous image can be played back anytime 1020 01:01:51,974 --> 01:01:55,908 So, someone is not in recovery will replay the images, 1021 01:01:55,941 --> 01:02:00,574 and it will trigger strong desire to return 1022 01:02:00,608 --> 01:02:03,008 and to increase over time. 1023 01:02:24,974 --> 01:02:28,974 [HETFIELD] what is it which continues to attract people into the abyss of porn in 1024 01:02:29,008 --> 01:02:30,474 and hold them there? 1025 01:02:30,508 --> 01:02:34,008 Many experts and those who are trapped in addiction 1026 01:02:34,041 --> 01:02:39,074 has a simple term for psychological process which holds so many prisoners. 1027 01:02:39,508 --> 01:02:40,974 Cycle of shame. 1028 01:02:41,008 --> 01:02:44,241 You know, secrets have embarrassment attached to them As long as someone has 1029 01:02:44,274 --> 01:02:47,741 it's secret behavior and shame, 1030 01:02:47,774 --> 01:02:51,674 I think it's really an action a magnet to draw them back to that behavior 1031 01:02:51,708 --> 01:02:54,074 Someone feels bad about what they do 1032 01:02:54,108 --> 01:02:56,208 "Wow, what will happen Make me feel better?" 1033 01:02:56,241 --> 01:02:57,841 It's torturous. 1034 01:02:57,874 --> 01:03:00,041 I've worked with too many couples and partners of people 1035 01:03:00,074 --> 01:03:02,541 who has struggled with compulsively sexually behavior 1036 01:03:02,574 --> 01:03:05,708 not to see it at all traumatic experiences for them. 1037 01:03:05,741 --> 01:03:08,441 Once the trauma that they will go through is very real 1038 01:03:08,474 --> 01:03:12,008 And when we enter a state of trauma, what do people tend to do in their trauma? 1039 01:03:12,041 --> 01:03:13,641 They don't tend to reach out. 1040 01:03:13,674 --> 01:03:15,374 They tend to close. 1041 01:03:15,408 --> 01:03:18,941 They return and come back again whatever it is, historically, they used in the past 1042 01:03:18,974 --> 01:03:20,241 to take care of themselves. 1043 01:03:20,274 --> 01:03:22,874 That's how it works. Once you... 1044 01:03:22,908 --> 01:03:25,774 As soon as I want to, you know, go all the way, so to speak, 1045 01:03:25,808 --> 01:03:28,308 and see porn, and masturbation, 1046 01:03:28,341 --> 01:03:31,908 and get what I am looking for, I will feel bad. 1047 01:03:31,941 --> 01:03:33,574 I will feel bad about that, 1048 01:03:33,608 --> 01:03:36,674 and at that time, That shame continues build inside me, 1049 01:03:36,708 --> 01:03:38,241 and build and build 1050 01:03:38,274 --> 01:03:42,608 to the point where I am want to not feel ashamed from myself again 1051 01:03:42,641 --> 01:03:44,408 And what will I do? 1052 01:03:44,441 --> 01:03:47,041 Go back to the only way I know how to make myself feel better [BEL] These are consequences and precursors. 1053 01:03:47,074 --> 01:03:49,508 This is a by-product of what I have done It's embarrassing, and that brings me back into it. 1054 01:03:49,541 --> 01:03:51,608 1055 01:03:51,641 --> 01:03:53,474 1056 01:03:53,508 --> 01:03:55,774 And then by doing that, builds shame, 1057 01:03:55,808 --> 01:03:58,108 and we call it the cycle of shame. We call it an addictive cycle. 1058 01:03:58,141 --> 01:03:59,741 It just keeps playing himself back out 1059 01:03:59,774 --> 01:04:02,708 This is a self-defeating cycle, a self-defeating process. 1060 01:04:02,741 --> 01:04:04,774 And that's one thing I can go to 1061 01:04:04,808 --> 01:04:06,941 to relieve The pain I feel as a result of doing it. 1062 01:04:08,141 --> 01:04:09,408 This is dangerous. 1063 01:04:09,441 --> 01:04:12,074 One of the biggest costs _ there is in a struggle with sense of my own identity 1064 01:04:12,108 --> 01:04:15,308 I maintain for the people around me 1065 01:04:15,341 --> 01:04:16,774 that I am this one particular person 1066 01:04:16,808 --> 01:04:18,974 1067 01:04:19,008 --> 01:04:21,808 And the way I see myself, 1068 01:04:21,841 --> 01:04:24,241 I see myself let alone someone 1069 01:04:24,274 --> 01:04:27,041 from what I describe to the people around me. 1070 01:04:27,074 --> 01:04:31,708 Every time I join in a behavior that I consider to be wrong, 1071 01:04:31,741 --> 01:04:34,308 which I believe to be something 1072 01:04:34,341 --> 01:04:38,241 people who are important to me will reject from that behavior, 1073 01:04:38,274 --> 01:04:41,741 the gap between that I see is me 1074 01:04:41,774 --> 01:04:45,674 and who I describe for others becomes bigger 1075 01:04:45,708 --> 01:04:50,508 And the bigger the gap, the more I feel that I am a poser, a fraud. 1076 01:04:50,541 --> 01:04:53,441 The more my senses are that I am a fraud 1077 01:04:53,474 --> 01:04:58,708 The more it feels that if people know me, they will reject me 1078 01:04:58,741 --> 01:05:01,941 So, the walls are and obstacles to intimacy 1079 01:05:01,974 --> 01:05:04,841 becomes higher, and stronger, and thicker. 1080 01:05:04,874 --> 01:05:09,074 So, this is really a cycle of shame, and continues. If anyone knows, 1081 01:05:09,108 --> 01:05:12,241 You know, that I struggled with this... How can I clean it with this? 1082 01:05:27,401 --> 01:05:14,741 When I'm very embarrassed, That's when I was in that place 1083 01:05:14,774 --> 01:05:17,674 where I have my biggest vulnerability 1084 01:05:17,708 --> 01:05:20,341 And humans are quite vulnerable when it concerns our sexuality. 1085 01:05:20,374 --> 01:05:22,808 Being naked with others and being seen. 1086 01:05:22,841 --> 01:05:26,508 "Am I doing well? Do I measure it? Do I do the right thing?" 1087 01:05:26,541 --> 01:05:30,241 And anything outside from the quote-unquote "norm", 1088 01:05:30,404 --> 01:05:34,274 consequence for human who experienced it 1089 01:05:34,308 --> 01:05:37,541 will be hopeless, and hurt, and confusion, and fear. 1090 01:05:37,574 --> 01:05:40,208 And I have no desire for anyone to know this about me, 1091 01:05:40,241 --> 01:05:43,474 and I will do whatever and everything to throw a mask, 1092 01:05:43,508 --> 01:05:45,341 so you don't see this is part of me 1093 01:05:45,374 --> 01:05:48,541 I think it's embarrassing and stigma 1094 01:05:52,341 --> 01:05:54,574 You know, as a small child, I was born with one hand, 1095 01:05:54,608 --> 01:05:58,108 and I grow to be different. 1096 01:05:58,141 --> 01:05:59,708 I know how it feels to be different. 1097 01:05:59,741 --> 01:06:04,441 And I know how it feels become stigmatized and excluded as different. 1098 01:06:04,474 --> 01:06:10,041 That's what I see happening with people who are called pornography addicts and sex addicts. 1099 01:06:10,074 --> 01:06:12,208 They are humiliated. They say they are different. 1100 01:06:12,241 --> 01:06:14,641 They were told, "There is something wrong with you, and you have to stop." 1101 01:06:14,674 --> 01:06:16,608 [HETFIELD] DSM-5, 1102 01:06:16,641 --> 01:06:18,708 or known as "Diagnostics and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders", 1103 01:06:18,741 --> 01:06:23,441 is a standard classification mental disorder 1104 01:06:23,474 --> 01:06:26,841 1105 01:06:26,874 --> 01:06:31,108 used by mental health professionals in the United States. 1106 01:06:31,141 --> 01:06:34,908 In it, you will find it like that disorder as schizophrenia, 1107 01:06:34,941 --> 01:06:37,641 anorexia, bulimia, hoarding, 1108 01:06:37,674 --> 01:06:39,608 even gambling addiction. 1109 01:06:39,641 --> 01:06:43,041 What you will not find is literature about sexual addiction, 1110 01:06:43,074 --> 01:06:46,041 more specific, addicted to pornography. 1111 01:06:46,074 --> 01:06:49,474 Ask in the field, and you will get it a myriad of answers 1112 01:06:49,508 --> 01:06:52,408 starting from "emptiness scientific proof," 1113 01:06:52,441 --> 01:06:55,908 "People are behind the curve in understanding nature itself." 1114 01:06:55,941 --> 01:06:59,541 Or DSM is lacking common sense 1115 01:06:59,574 --> 01:07:02,941 One thing is clear. There is a clear need to start discussing 1116 01:07:02,974 --> 01:07:06,908 and understand this problem and its very real existence, 1117 01:07:06,941 --> 01:07:09,074 how it feels to be labeled 1118 01:07:09,108 --> 01:07:13,174 Troubled porn looks like addicted 1119 01:07:14,641 --> 01:07:16,374 What is that? 1120 01:07:16,408 --> 01:07:18,108 That's the question. 1121 01:07:18,141 --> 01:07:19,941 That's the question in that heart 1122 01:07:19,974 --> 01:07:22,808 Is it addicted on the same road 1123 01:07:23,808 --> 01:07:25,641 drug addiction exists? 1124 01:07:25,674 --> 01:07:27,774 Is there tolerance? 1125 01:07:27,808 --> 01:07:31,341 Is it needed more than that the drug of choice 1126 01:07:31,374 --> 01:07:34,608 to produce the same thing type of behavior? 1127 01:07:34,101 --> 01:07:37,274 Are they involved in these things, 1128 01:07:30,308 --> 01:07:40,708 in behaviors that harm them or harm others? 1129 01:07:40,741 --> 01:07:42,241 Do they repeat it? 1130 01:07:42,274 --> 01:07:44,241 Do they lie to cover it up? 1131 01:07:44,274 --> 01:07:47,908 Do they make an effort to stop and can't stop? 1132 01:07:47,941 --> 01:07:51,841 Do they make an appointment to stop, and then they return, 1133 01:07:51,874 --> 01:07:55,041 um, for the same old behavior? 1134 01:07:55,074 --> 01:07:57,041 When I see all this the things that happen, 1135 01:07:57,074 --> 01:08:01,008 then I say, you know, There may be an addiction happening with that person, 1136 01:08:01,041 --> 01:08:02,841 whether they are recognize or not. 1137 01:08:02,874 --> 01:08:04,741 And then there is the DSM-5. 1138 01:08:06,941 --> 01:08:10,908 In DSM-5, a new manual for addiction, 1139 01:08:10,941 --> 01:08:12,841 the word "addiction" is... 1140 01:09:27,871 --> 01:08:16,074 New manual for mental health disorders, I'm sorry. 1141 01:08:20,808 --> 01:08:24,741 And it's used with a line that says... 1142 01:08:25,574 --> 01:08:26,941 [sighs] 1143 01:08:26,974 --> 01:08:31,174 "Dependence is not a term that is quite right again." 1144 01:08:32,641 --> 01:08:35,274 Because we don't also know what it means 1145 01:08:35,308 --> 01:08:37,508 Sex looks like those drugs, 1146 01:08:37,541 --> 01:08:39,408 and more we learn about that, 1147 01:08:39,441 --> 01:08:44,674 the more we understand This is contextual, really. 1148 01:08:44,708 --> 01:08:47,441 That's why the American Society from Addiction Medicine, 1149 01:08:47,474 --> 01:08:50,541 consisting of medical doctors like me, 1150 01:08:50,574 --> 01:08:53,008 which is more biologically based, 1151 01:08:53,041 --> 01:08:59,108 redefine addiction in 2011 as a brain disease. 1152 01:08:59,141 --> 01:09:00,308 They use the word "disease". 1153 01:09:00,341 --> 01:09:04,841 Affects three systems, appreciation, motivation, and memory. 1154 01:09:04,874 --> 01:09:08,474 And the second part from their definition is that 1155 01:09:09,374 --> 01:09:12,341 sex, food, and gambling are addicted 1156 01:09:12,374 --> 01:09:16,074 same as alcohol, cocaine, or heroin 1157 01:09:10,108 --> 01:09:19,341 However, one DSM would say is addictive, 1158 01:09:19,374 --> 01:09:21,908 and others don't? 1159 01:09:21,941 --> 01:09:23,808 This is ridiculous. That's right 1160 01:09:23,841 --> 01:09:27,708 And DSM-5 is very flawed for that reason. 1161 01:09:27,741 --> 01:09:32,974 So whoever it is will... will say that 1162 01:09:33,008 --> 01:09:35,374 if it's not on DSM-5, It's not addictive 1163 01:09:35,408 --> 01:09:38,308 just don't understand neurobiology of the brain. 1164 01:09:38,341 --> 01:09:42,208 There are so many subjective perspectives about that based on the family of origin, 1165 01:09:42,241 --> 01:09:44,774 culture, heritage, faith, and so on, 1166 01:09:44,808 --> 01:09:48,408 it will require very specific data, 1167 01:09:48,441 --> 01:09:50,408 very specific empirical evidence 1168 01:09:50,441 --> 01:09:51,908 even to get the conversation started. 1169 01:09:51,941 --> 01:09:53,408 And even then, as you know, 1170 01:09:53,441 --> 01:09:57,008 many people, despite evidence, will still push back against it. 1171 01:09:57,041 --> 01:09:59,408 And that's usually the case in all humanity. 1172 01:09:59,441 --> 01:10:00,841 But we must at least have that data 1173 01:10:00,874 --> 01:10:03,374 [HETFIELD] Be psychological or biological, 1174 01:10:03,408 --> 01:10:05,974 rift between these two very important fields 1175 01:10:06,008 --> 01:10:08,541 It could be one of the reasons that this problem 1176 01:10:08,574 --> 01:10:10,874 have flown under the radar for a long time. 1177 01:10:10,908 --> 01:10:15,241 Imagine if both very intelligent groups unite 1178 01:10:15,274 --> 01:10:18,541 I personally don't see both parties need disputes. 1179 01:10:18,574 --> 01:10:20,974 At the end of the day, we want to help individuals who are struggling 1180 01:10:21,008 --> 01:10:22,874 You said this he We said that. 1181 01:10:22,908 --> 01:10:24,574 At the end of the day, we want the same results 1182 01:10:24,608 --> 01:10:27,008 We want them to have it mental health. We want them to have emotional health. 1183 01:10:27,041 --> 01:10:28,808 We want them to have it relational health. 1184 01:10:28,841 --> 01:10:33,074 We want them to succeed, and stability, and a sense of welfare in themselves. 1185 01:10:33,108 --> 01:10:34,774 And I think there are several ways to get to it. 1186 01:10:34,808 --> 01:10:37,808 And I don't see us need to be like diametrically opposed 1187 01:10:37,841 --> 01:10:39,908 many times we are being pitted against each other. 1188 01:10:39,941 --> 01:10:42,908 [HETFIELD] Speaking of biology versus psychology, 1189 01:10:42,941 --> 01:10:46,808 Is it fair to ask if this is a problem Neurochemical dependence 1190 01:10:46,841 --> 01:10:48,908 versus moral deprivation? 1191 01:10:48,941 --> 01:10:53,741 In essence, are we talking? about addiction versus being a bad person 1192 01:10:53,774 --> 01:10:57,041 When you talk any addiction, 1193 01:10:57,074 --> 01:11:01,474 That is the most It is difficult for people to relate is loss of control. 1194 01:11:03,041 --> 01:11:07,841 That people who don't, who can't connect personally, 1195 01:11:07,874 --> 01:11:10,508 see someone... 1196 01:11:10,541 --> 01:11:13,741 who is in the grip is addicted and says, "How can you choose 1197 01:11:14,808 --> 01:11:17,908 X, Y, Z for your family? 1198 01:11:17,941 --> 01:11:20,341 How can you choose medicines for your children? 1199 01:11:20,374 --> 01:11:23,408 How can you choose porn for your wife? " 1200 01:11:24,708 --> 01:11:28,808 That is very difficult the average person relates to. 1201 01:11:28,841 --> 01:11:30,974 And again, On the other hand, 1202 01:11:31,008 --> 01:11:37,574 that person struggles with that addiction in its original form 1203 01:11:37,608 --> 01:11:41,674 see it and say, "What choice?" 1204 01:11:41,708 --> 01:11:45,708 And I found something in it That is very disgusting to me, 1205 01:11:45,741 --> 01:11:50,041 But the place is very dark for the type of hide out. 1206 01:11:50,074 --> 01:11:52,274 I don't know For me, that's just... 1207 01:11:52,308 --> 01:11:55,174 That makes me, and it won't release me. 1208 01:11:55,208 --> 01:11:58,508 That is the most embarrassing thing I have to face. 1209 01:11:58,541 --> 01:12:03,374 Is there a way we can talk about it later without using a moral card? 1210 01:12:03,408 --> 01:12:05,174 Right. 1211 01:12:05,208 --> 01:12:07,641 So it's not just that moral problem 1212 01:12:07,674 --> 01:12:09,708 for people who believe in morals. 1213 01:12:09,741 --> 01:12:11,141 This is a brain problem. 1214 01:12:11,174 --> 01:12:16,474 This is an addiction irrespective of anything moral basis or judgment. 1215 01:12:16,508 --> 01:12:19,541 In general, no, this is not a person who is less appreciative of what you are facing, 1216 01:12:19,574 --> 01:12:20,874 people who are less moral. 1217 01:12:20,908 --> 01:12:22,708 That's someone who's really strong values and morals 1218 01:12:22,741 --> 01:12:24,474 but has become disconnected from them, 1219 01:12:24,508 --> 01:12:25,974 or become distracted from them, 1220 01:12:26,008 --> 01:12:27,641 or their obsession has pulled them away 1221 01:12:27,674 --> 01:12:30,208 from the focus on their part That is their most healthy self. 1222 01:12:30,241 --> 01:12:32,608 And there are still parts of them shout and say, 1223 01:12:32,641 --> 01:12:35,108 "Please get back to balance 1224 01:12:35,141 --> 01:12:38,241 But I don't know how to get it there without doing it which I know to do now 1225 01:12:38,274 --> 01:12:40,974 which feels balanced and normal. " 1226 01:12:41,008 --> 01:12:44,908 People who shop time with pornography, um, 1227 01:12:44,941 --> 01:12:48,741 You know, if approached as a moral problem, 1228 01:12:48,774 --> 01:12:51,674 then the response is, 1229 01:12:51,708 --> 01:12:55,774 uh, for him to feel shy, and, uh, 1230 01:12:55,808 --> 01:12:59,341 You know, if someone will only preach to him enough 1231 01:12:59,374 --> 01:13:02,641 and really make him understand How bad he is, 1232 01:13:02,674 --> 01:13:04,808 Maybe he will stop. No, he doesn't stop. 1233 01:13:04,841 --> 01:13:07,774 Shame finally becomes who very strong, um, 1234 01:13:07,808 --> 01:13:11,708 Very strong triggers at that time. Very strong, uh, 1235 01:13:11,741 --> 01:13:14,574 things that encourage addiction 1236 01:13:14,608 --> 01:13:16,708 [HETFIELD] Whatever you are Possible perspective, 1237 01:13:16,741 --> 01:13:20,808 we can't pretend so this pornography problem nothing This is very real, Very real potential to infiltrate individuals, 1238 01:13:20,841 --> 01:13:25,974 relationship, family, 1239 01:13:26,008 --> 01:13:28,074 and break down very the nature of society as intended to be. 1240 01:13:28,108 --> 01:13:31,841 We are sexual beings. We are always and always will be. 1241 01:13:31,874 --> 01:13:35,641 That's how we start handling that sexuality is now, 1242 01:13:35,674 --> 01:13:38,641 or at least try to understand it, 1243 01:13:38,674 --> 01:13:40,541 it will be very good have an impact on the future 1244 01:13:40,574 --> 01:13:43,108 As we lose the ability to become intimate, 1245 01:13:43,141 --> 01:13:45,241 what we can predict 1246 01:13:46,208 --> 01:13:48,608 is the generation of children 1247 01:13:48,641 --> 01:13:51,074 1248 01:13:51,108 --> 01:13:55,174 who have this disability to organize themselves emotional. 1249 01:13:55,208 --> 01:14:00,108 Inability to form satisfying, close human relations, 1250 01:14:00,141 --> 01:14:04,208 who will forward it to their children, who will pass it on to their children 1251 01:14:04,241 --> 01:14:06,474 When we say something is addictive, 1252 01:14:06,508 --> 01:14:09,441 the answer is very easy. Stop doing it 1253 01:14:10,474 --> 01:14:13,241 The answer here is not so simple This is a complex problem 1254 01:14:13,274 --> 01:14:15,141 which involves marriage, involves sexual values, 1255 01:14:15,174 --> 01:14:18,741 involves men and women, involves masculinity and femininity, 1256 01:14:18,774 --> 01:14:22,708 involves education, involves culture and society, 1257 01:14:22,741 --> 01:14:26,574 1258 01:14:26,608 --> 01:14:28,774 involves sexually infectious diseases, 1259 01:14:28,808 --> 01:14:32,541 involves libido and all kinds of things. 1260 01:14:32,574 --> 01:14:36,974 If your movie can produce Conversations like that, 1261 01:14:37,008 --> 01:14:38,608 I think it's healthy. 1262 01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:43,341 I think it's the final destination, and that's my final goal. 1263 01:14:43,374 --> 01:14:48,741 Because you call it addiction stop talking 1264 01:14:48,774 --> 01:14:50,841 [DONALD HILTON] We have been running on the moon. 1265 01:14:50,874 --> 01:14:53,374 We can appear complicated operations 1266 01:14:53,408 --> 01:14:58,174 We can write beautiful sonnets. We can write music. 1267 01:14:58,208 --> 01:14:59,841 We can do everything from these amazing things. 1268 01:14:59,874 --> 01:15:03,908 We can love our children, our partners, 1269 01:15:03,941 --> 01:15:07,741 this experience is strong, deep human emotions. 1270 01:15:09,174 --> 01:15:14,841 And then we are cheap by commoditizing humans. 1271 01:15:16,574 --> 01:15:18,408 We are better than that. 1272 01:15:19,508 --> 01:15:21,341 We are much better than that. 1273 01:15:21,374 --> 01:15:25,908 Sexuality is much higher goals in humans than that. 1274 01:15:25,941 --> 01:15:30,874 The unfortunate thing is that is pornography damage and destroy 1275 01:15:30,908 --> 01:15:35,608 many families, uh, and many individuals. 1276 01:15:35,641 --> 01:15:38,341 [BEL] Black and white thinking when it comes to pornography 1277 01:15:38,374 --> 01:15:42,241 it's not just luxury that we can spoil ourselves. 1278 01:15:42,274 --> 01:15:45,174 That's a scary thing to think about, when you talk 1279 01:15:45,208 --> 01:15:50,074 how is the impact? nephew formation and family? 1280 01:15:50,108 --> 01:15:53,174 And then there are values that we carry, from 1281 01:15:53,208 --> 01:15:55,741 do we see ourselves? as a communal being, 1282 01:15:55,774 --> 01:15:58,141 or see ourselves as individuals in isolation? 1283 01:15:58,174 --> 01:16:01,774 Be careful with pornography. 1284 01:16:01,808 --> 01:16:05,941 Don't treat it like that it's a tame thing 1285 01:16:06,608 --> 01:16:07,974 Because it's not. 1286 01:16:08,008 --> 01:16:13,374 And when people see real partners in real life as bad porn, 1287 01:16:13,408 --> 01:16:16,341 then we have really taken real critical shift 1288 01:16:16,374 --> 01:16:18,874 Even worse, in my opinion. 1289 01:16:18,908 --> 01:16:21,074 The idea of pornography addiction and sex addiction 1290 01:16:21,108 --> 01:16:23,674 is about moral conflict 1291 01:16:23,708 --> 01:16:27,241 in the person and in society. 1292 01:16:27,274 --> 01:16:29,508 I think it's very important that we help people discuss it 1293 01:16:29,541 --> 01:16:32,708 [HETFIELD] And indeed the only purpose of this film, 1294 01:16:32,741 --> 01:16:36,474 to start a conversation 1295 01:16:36,508 --> 01:16:38,641 Not to accuse, accuses, or condemns. 1296 01:16:38,674 --> 01:16:42,674 This is to illuminate a light into the darkness that looms over us as human beings. 1297 01:16:42,708 --> 01:16:48,541 Some may argue that is pornography is a neutral element 1298 01:16:48,574 --> 01:16:51,841 it is not dangerous except if it is used irresponsibly. 1299 01:16:51,874 --> 01:16:55,341 On the contrary, as we have shown, 1300 01:16:55,374 --> 01:16:57,641 that is the dismantling of our children 1301 01:16:57,674 --> 01:16:59,741 1302 01:16:59,774 --> 01:17:04,241 for strong, ideas of prejudice false intimacy 1303 01:17:04,274 --> 01:17:06,408 This is teaching them lies. 1304 01:17:06,441 --> 01:17:10,341 This is an underestimate couple, men who emit emotions, 1305 01:17:10,374 --> 01:17:14,108 and destroy the beautiful women's essence 1306 01:17:14,141 --> 01:17:17,474 It can't be anymore elephants erotic indoors 1307 01:17:17,508 --> 01:17:21,908 that we hide Behind closed doors our home and office. 1308 01:17:21,941 --> 01:17:25,441 Can't be our youth educators. 1309 01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:29,741 Is that fear of social disgrace that prevents us permitting each other 1310 01:17:29,774 --> 01:17:31,774 free from slavery? 1311 01:17:31,808 --> 01:17:34,241 Like it or not, admit it or not, 1312 01:17:34,274 --> 01:17:37,541 it's here, and it's dangerous 1313 01:17:37,574 --> 01:17:39,341 It's time to talk about it 1314 01:17:39,374 --> 01:17:44,141 openly and honestly in all aspects of society. 1315 01:17:44,174 --> 01:17:46,441 There is a great power among people 1316 01:17:46,474 --> 01:17:49,874 when they learn that they are not alone in a struggle 1317 01:17:49,908 --> 01:17:54,708 There are, on the contrary, great strength in shame which makes people disappointed. 1318 01:17:55,374 --> 01:17:58,174 And shame should not win. 1319 01:18:08,508 --> 01:18:12,408 A man named Tinbergen in 1973, won the Nobel Prize 1320 01:18:12,441 --> 01:18:15,974 to describe what he calls as a supernormal stimulus. 1321 01:18:16,008 --> 01:18:19,174 In other words, a stimulus that is an animal meeting 1322 01:18:19,208 --> 01:18:23,274 it's above nature stimulus they will meet in nature. 1323 01:18:23,308 --> 01:18:25,808 He takes butterflies, 1324 01:18:25,841 --> 01:18:29,008 and that is a species where Men will find women 1325 01:18:29,041 --> 01:18:32,908 based on the color and the size of the wings. 1326 01:18:32,941 --> 01:18:36,541 So he painted butterflies cardboard, wings of female butterflies 1327 01:18:36,574 --> 01:18:40,174 it is bigger and brighter than female female butterfly. 1328 01:18:40,208 --> 01:18:45,208 And look, men will ignore female butterflies. 1329 01:18:45,241 --> 01:18:49,274 I think humans are following the same path 1330 01:18:49,308 --> 01:18:52,008 regarding marriage with celluloid 1331 01:18:52,041 --> 01:18:55,008 and mate with electrons on the screen, 1332 01:18:55,041 --> 01:18:57,308 like a butterfly trying to mate 1333 01:18:57,341 --> 01:19:00,995 with this made, cardboard butterfly 1334 01:19:01,035 --> 01:22:30,481 ♪ ♪